Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems does this cause?What are the solutions?

it is claimed that, in present days most of the old masses have to contend with
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
masses for the same task.
this
essay will
ariticulate
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articulate
the problems
assosicated
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associated
with
this
phenonomenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
and suggest some possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
. To commence with
this
phenonmenon
Correct your spelling
phenomenon
, older
people
have to compete with
youger
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younger
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
because they face financial problems in their later life.Mostly they live on their pensions. it
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
more challenging to
sheild
Correct your spelling
shield
their folks.
Secondly
, the level of competencies, it is
oftenly
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often
thought that
youger
Correct your spelling
younger
people
are more
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
than older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
,
However
Add the comma(s)
However,
show examples
they have less experience as compared to older
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
Additionaly
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Additionally
for most companies younger
people
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more energetic.
Hence
chances should be given to older
people
to perform a task . Moving towards a solution
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
phenomenon, Government should increase the pension of
oldery
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older
elderly
people
so that they can support
themselve
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themselves
and their families.
Secondly
,
Correct article usage
the Governement
show examples
Governement
Correct your spelling
government
should make
Correct article usage
a traing
show examples
traing
Correct your spelling
training
trading
center so that
oldery
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older
elderly
people
can learn new
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
for their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.It will help them to compete with the growing digital world.
For example
,
one
study has shown that in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population employment has
increase
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increased
show examples
from 7% to 14%.
Thats
Correct your spelling
That
why older
people
should learn new
tactic
Fix the agreement mistake
tactics
show examples
to compete with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
younger
people
.
To sum up
, financial problems and
differnece
Correct your spelling
difference
differences
in
the
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apply
show examples
competence level
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the major
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
for older
people
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
compete with younger
people
thats
Correct your spelling
that
that's
why
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
should take suitable
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
by making skill
traing
Correct your spelling
training
trading
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
.
Submitted by madihaali8470 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the task, discussing both problems and solutions related to older people competing with younger people for the same jobs. However, the explanation of ideas could be more detailed to enhance clarity.
task achievement
Ensure that each of your main points is fully supported with relevant and specific examples. For instance, providing more detailed reasons or data could strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logically structured introduction and conclusion. Nonetheless, the body paragraphs would benefit from more cohesive devices (e.g., connectors, transition words) to improve flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
While your main points are structured logically, some sentences need refinement for clarity. Try to connect your sentences more smoothly and ensure they build on each other.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and spelling, as there are numerous minor errors (e.g., 'oldery' instead of 'older,' 'traing' instead of 'training'). Improving these will make your essay more polished.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states the problem and hints at the structure of the essay, which helps set expectations for the reader.
task achievement
You have offered practical solutions, such as increasing pensions and providing training centers, which are relevant to the issues discussed.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a strong conclusion that effectively summarizes the main points discussed and reinforces your stance.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intergenerational competition
  • Age discrimination
  • Adaptability
  • Hiring practices
  • Workforce diversity
  • Upskilling
  • Lifelong learning
  • Flexible working arrangements
  • Ageism
  • Technological proficiency
  • Productivity concerns
  • Diverse skillsets
  • Legislative protection
  • Employment equity
  • Biases
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