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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first diagram shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time

The first diagram shows the number of train passengers from 2000 to 2009. The second graph shows the percentage of trains running on time
#first #train #passengers #second #percentage #trains #time
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The provided line graph
show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
 the
number
 of individuals who used
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 over
decade
Add an article
a decade
the decade
show examples
 from 2000 to 2009, whilst another line graph depicts
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
trains
 running on
time
 compared with the target. The units are measured in
billion
Fix the agreement mistake
billions
show examples
 and in
tge
Correct your spelling
the
percentage
 of
trains
. Generally speaking, it is evident that the
number
 of
trains
 slightly rose,
while
 the
percentage
 of
trains
 running on
time
 in
comparispn
Correct your spelling
comparison
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 fluctuated over
given
Correct article usage
a given
show examples
 period of
time
. First and foremost, it is evident that the
percentage
 of
trains
 running on
time
 in comparison with
Correct article usage
the standart
show examples
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 line comprised 92% in 2000,
reamained
Correct your spelling
remained
 steady from 2003 to 2004 and faced an overwhelming reduction from 96% to 92% in 2006.
However
, after a decade it doubled to 93%.
Furthermore
,
it
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 2007 the
percentage
 of
trains
 that
runned
Correct your spelling
ran
show examples
 on
time
 culminated at 97% and plateaued during
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 two
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
years. With regards to the
number
 of
passangers
Correct your spelling
passengers
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
 in 2000 it is noticeable that it comprised nearly 38
billion
.
Moreover
, in 2002 it significantly skyrocketed to approximately 42
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
passengers.
However
, notwithstanding of aforementioned changes, just after
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
 it took a nosedive
at
Change preposition
to
show examples
 38
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds.In 2005 it touched the apex with 50
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds and hit
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rock bottom at 40
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
pounds.
Additionally
, the
number
 of train passengers touched
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 highest point at 42
billion
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
passengers.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, percentage, trains, time, billion with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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