IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Describe a restaurant or a cafe you often go to. You should say: 👍 Where it is What it looks like What kind of services are provided What kind of food you like there/ What kind of food is famous? And say why you like it

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I’ll start to talk about my
fascinating
Correct word choice
favourite
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restaurant
Use synonyms
 and often go there.
It’s
Use synonyms
 a buffet and Hong Kong’s hotpot style.
It’s
Use synonyms
 named MONGKOK. The first time I ate there was a year ago at
The mall
Correct your spelling
the Mall
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 Ngamwongwan department store. But after that, I usually go to the M9 square branch on Huai Kwang
road
Capitalize word
Road
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 more often because
it’s
Use synonyms
 less crowded and there’s plenty of parking. I think I eat there with my friend once a month. The cuisine is inspired
from
Change preposition
by
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 Hong
Kong’s
Change noun form
Kong
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street
Fix the agreement mistake
streets
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 and the decor features vibrance red and
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
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colors
Change the spelling
colours
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 that made me hungrier when I visited;
in addition
Linking Words
, there are two types of
table
Fix the agreement mistake
tables
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 that are a long counter for those who come alone and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
family seats.
Personally
Add a comma
Personally,
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 I often choose family seats because
It’s
Use synonyms
 quite convenient when I want to talk with my friends. MONGKOK is our
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
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restaurant
Use synonyms
 because we both love the taste of soups and the
varieties
Fix the agreement mistake
variety
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 of foods. I think there are five categories of soups and my friend loves mushroom soup. As for me, I prefer MALA soup over others. In the
restaurant
Use synonyms
, there is a large fridge for keeping fresh foods
such
Linking Words
 as pork, fish, and vegetables. The counter bar contains a lot of ingredients of sauces which we serve ourselves.
we
Capitalize word
We
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 can mix all
ingredients
Correct article usage
the ingredients
show examples
 as we like.
Also
Linking Words
, there are various ready-cooked dishes and a wide variety of desserts. The famous dish here is pudding milk and of course the hot pot for sure. For my part, I used to eat pudding milk one or two times and I don’t like it. I prefer to eat hot pot and Dim sum
over
Change preposition
apply
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. So, from all of that, I was exceedingly impressed by
this
Linking Words
restaurant
Use synonyms
 because there are a lot of categories of foods and the location matches
with
Change preposition
apply
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my choice so it is a cuisine that I often go to.

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task achievement
Try to avoid repetition of certain words and phrases (e.g., 'MONGKOK') to make your writing more varied.
coherence cohesion
Consider using transitional phrases like 'moreover' or 'furthermore' to connect your ideas more smoothly.
task achievement
You provided a detailed description of the restaurant including its name, location, and atmosphere.
coherence cohesion
The use of descriptive language such as 'vibrant red' and 'colorful colors' adds vividness to your writing.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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