You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
The provided charts provide information about the locations and types of
classes
that young people in Australia are currently attending.
Overall
, the pie
chart
illustrates the type of
dance
classes
;
additionally
, the bar
chart
shows how many people attend each
class
.
According to
the pie
chart
, 48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
classes
are located in private studios.
Additionally
, community halls and other facilities come in second place, accounting for 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of the total. College-based
students
have the lowest rate at 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The bar
chart
reveals that nearly 600 individuals under the age of 11 attend ballet
classes
,
while
over 500 individuals aged 11-16 attend modern
dance
classes
. The majority of
students
attending
classes
under the age of 11 are referred to as modern dancers, numbering approximately 300. In the age group of 11-16, ballet is the least attended
dance
class
, with approximately 300
students
. Tap
dance
class
is
second,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
The group under 11 attended approximately 450
students
, ages 11-16, and 400
students
at
this
typo
class
. In conclusion, the pie charts illustrate the locations of the
dance
classes
. The majority
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
to attend private studios, and the bar
chart
indicates that ballet
dance
is more popular among groups ages 0–11;
on the other hand
, groups aged 11–16 attend modern
classes
.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words classes, chart, dance, class, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • distribution
  • trend
  • demographic
  • community centers
  • private studios
  • online platforms
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • attendance
  • age groups
  • notable shifts
  • patterns
  • overview
What to do next:
Look at other essays: