You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The charts below give information on the location and types of dance classes young people in a town in Australia are currently attending.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The provided charts provide information about the locations and types of
classes
Use synonyms
that young people in Australia are currently attending.
Overall
Linking Words
, the pie
chart
Use synonyms
illustrates the type of
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
;
additionally
Linking Words
, the bar
chart
Use synonyms
shows how many people attend each
class
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
the pie
chart
Use synonyms
, 48
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
classes
Use synonyms
are located in private studios.
Additionally
Linking Words
, community halls and other facilities come in second place, accounting for 18
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of the total. College-based
students
Use synonyms
have the lowest rate at 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. The bar
chart
Use synonyms
reveals that nearly 600 individuals under the age of 11 attend ballet
classes
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
over 500 individuals aged 11-16 attend modern
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
. The majority of
students
Use synonyms
attending
classes
Use synonyms
under the age of 11 are referred to as modern dancers, numbering approximately 300. In the age group of 11-16, ballet is the least attended
dance
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
, with approximately 300
students
Use synonyms
. Tap
dance
Use synonyms
class
Use synonyms
is
second,
Linking Words
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
The group under 11 attended approximately 450
students
Use synonyms
, ages 11-16, and 400
students
Use synonyms
at
this
Linking Words
typo
class
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, the pie charts illustrate the locations of the
dance
Use synonyms
classes
Use synonyms
. The majority
appears
Correct subject-verb agreement
appear
show examples
to attend private studios, and the bar
chart
Use synonyms
indicates that ballet
dance
Use synonyms
is more popular among groups ages 0–11;
on the other hand
Linking Words
, groups aged 11–16 attend modern
classes
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mkhdermani on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words classes, chart, dance, class, students with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 7 times.
Vocabulary: The word "illustrates" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • distribution
  • trend
  • demographic
  • community centers
  • private studios
  • online platforms
  • ballet
  • hip-hop
  • contemporary
  • jazz
  • attendance
  • age groups
  • notable shifts
  • patterns
  • overview
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