Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
People
can be split in
two Change preposition
into
gropus
. Some tend to have a job in the same place all their life, others prefer to change often.
Having a Correct your spelling
groups
carreer
for the same company lots of time has its advantages. Correct your spelling
career
For example
, having a marriage and kids is easier staying in the same city for a certain period. In addition
, you have more possibilities to know people
better and create bonds to make some life-long friendships. On the other hand
, realationship
with your coworkers Correct your spelling
relationship
relationships
could not
be all fun and games. Wrong verb form
cannot
For instance
, my father's boss didn't treat him and his colleagues well, leading to years of agony in the workplace obbligating
him to leave.
Working in different locations, Correct your spelling
obligating
however
, also
has its pros and cons. First of all
it expands your horizons moving, Add a comma
all,
for example
, abroad or in different cities. There you can meet tons of people
and understand new coltures
! Correct your spelling
cultures
However
not very social Add a comma
However,
caracters
can find it difficult to adapt to a new place and create Correct your spelling
characters
connetions
with other Correct your spelling
connections
people
easily.
In conclusion, I believe that balance should be in everyone
lives and both experiences should be done Change noun form
everyone's
ones
in a lifetime. I think is better to move around Correct your spelling
once
while
being younger while
you have lots of energy to enrich your coltural
background and learn new skills. Afterwards, when getting older stabilize in a spot you are comfortable with to Correct your spelling
cultural
plants
roots and raise a family.Wrong verb form
plant
Submitted by alessandro.talese on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to present a more structured introduction stating clearly that you will discuss both views before giving your own opinion.
task achievement
Add a few more examples to support your arguments. For instance, include an example of someone who has benefited from working in the same organization their whole life.
coherence cohesion
Create clearer topic sentences for paragraphs to guide the reader on what each paragraph will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using more cohesive devices like 'on one hand/on the other hand,' 'furthermore,' and 'in contrast'.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to small spelling and grammar mistakes as they can slightly affect the clarity of your essay (e.g., 'carreer' should be 'career,' 'coltures' should be 'cultures').
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and provided examples to support your points.
task achievement
Your conclusion gives a balanced view and a personal opinion, which is good for task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Your reasoning is clear and logically sound.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?