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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graphs illustrate the percentage of female individuals, who graduated
from
Change preposition
with
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 higher degrees, in five different
countries
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 (the UK, the USA,
Australia
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, South Korea, and France) between the
years
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 1980 and 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, in
Australia
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, the percentage of
women
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 who went into higher education remained the same with almost 60% in both
years
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. Except for
Australia
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, the ratio of graduated females increased in
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 four
countries
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 in 35
years
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. Despite
of
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apply
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that
increasing
Replace the word
increase
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, the
percentages
Fix the agreement mistake
percentage
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 of graduated
women
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for
Change preposition
in
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 all
countries
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were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 still under 60% in 2015. In 1980, the ratio of female individuals, who went to college, was 50% in France
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
1980. The amount of studying
women
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of
Change preposition
in
show examples
theUSA
Correct your spelling
the USA
 and the UK followed with almost 40% and 35% respectively. In 2015, the USA reached almost 60% graduated
women
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 as same as
Australia
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while
Linking Words
 the UK and France had around 55% of female college students.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, South Korea had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 percentage of
women
Use synonyms
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
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 into higher education for both
years
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. It had only 15% of females who went to college in 1980. Even
thought
Correct your spelling
though
show examples
 it doubled to 30% in 2015, it still was almost half of
other
Add an article
the other
show examples
countries
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words countries, australia, years, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • higher education
  • increase
  • decrease
  • trend
  • significant
  • comparison
  • identify
  • highest
  • lowest
  • contextual
  • global
  • relevant
  • constant
  • substantial
  • fluctuation
  • proportional
  • data
  • evaluate
  • analyze
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