When a new town is planned, it is more important to Public Park and sports facilities than shopping centres for people to spend their time in. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
It's generally to think that public parks and sports facilities are more important for
city
Add an article
the city
,
than shopping Remove the comma
apply
centre
. I Fix the agreement mistake
centres
am strongly agree
with Change the verb form
strongly agree
this
statement, because of some reasons and
Correct word choice
that
i
will Change the capitalization
I
expleined
in Correct your spelling
explain
explained
this
essay.
On the one hand, we have a lot
of places for a walk, places to do some sport and play with childrens
. Correct your spelling
children
This
is all good, people
will be happier and more enjoyable. More green ares
will improve Correct your spelling
areas
Add an article
the neighborhood
neighborhood
and more Change the spelling
neighbourhood
people
will want to live here, also
it's very good for Correct article usage
the enviroment
enviroment
. The Correct your spelling
environment
sport
facilities Fix the agreement mistake
sports
hepls
keep your body in Correct your spelling
help
a good conditions
. A Correct the article-noun agreement
a good condition
good conditions
lot
of childrens
will meet new friends in Correct your spelling
children
children's
this
parks.
Correct determiner usage
these
On the other
hand
Add a comma
hand,
people
will have shop
Correct article usage
a shop
centre
, it's good for economics
of Add an article
the economics
city
because a Correct article usage
the city
lot
of people
will go there and buy things and pay bills
. But for Correct pronoun usage
their bills
people
that live here
it's worse. Add a comma
here,
Shopping
Correct article usage
The shopping
centre
Fix the agreement mistake
centres
worke
nearly Correct your spelling
work
fo
24 hours, Correct your spelling
for
light
Add an article
the light
of
them are Change preposition
apply
to
bright and some times will make you angryReplace the word
too
,
because you can't sleep normally, Remove the comma
apply
also
there are to
noisy. My sister used to live Replace the word
too
nearly
the main shopping Change the word
near
centre
in our city
. That's
was disgusting, a Unnecessary verb
That
lot
of amount people
walk near you everyday
, for a little period Replace the word
every day
it's
Unnecessary verb
it
make
you feel better. But Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
then
you want some peace of mind, go to village
and have some rest.
All in all, shopping Add an article
the village
a village
centre
make more places for work, but parks Fix the agreement mistake
centres
better
for Add a missing verb
are better
Correct article usage
the enviroment
enviroment
and for Correct your spelling
environment
people
. If i
wanted to make the Change the capitalization
I
city
i
probably Change the capitalization
I
made
green areas, because they are more important for Wrong verb form
make
locality
.Add an article
the locality
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grammar
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve readability. Some errors, like 'strongly agree' instead of 'strongly agree' and 'i will expleined' instead of 'I will explain,' need to be corrected.
structure
Ensure your essay has a clearer structure. Break your ideas into paragraphs, each targeting a specific point. This will improve your logical flow and make your argument more persuasive.
examples
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. For instance, when talking about environmental benefits, mention specific studies or scenarios that highlight these advantages.
introduction conclusion
Create a more concise and focused introduction and conclusion. In the introduction, briefly outline the points you will talk about. In the conclusion, summarize your main arguments.
task achievement
You did a good job discussing both sides of the argument, which demonstrates your ability to see different perspectives.
task achievement
You have touched on important issues like environmental benefits and economic effects, which are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.