The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the different levels of post-school qualifications in Australia and the proportion of men and women who held them in 1999. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart above displays the variation in levels of
post-school
Use synonyms
degrees in Australia and the number of
men
Use synonyms
and women who held them in 1999 . On the whole , the Skilled Vocational
Diploma
Use synonyms
was the most held
degree
Use synonyms
among
men
Use synonyms
, unlike women who presented the lowest percentage. On the one hand ,70% of females noticeably selected an Undergraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
in their
post-school
Use synonyms
pathway.
While
Linking Words
few of them chose the Skilled Vocational
Diploma
Use synonyms
by only 10% . Bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
and Masters's
degree
Use synonyms
were picked by 50% and 40% respectively . 30% of females decided to hold a postgraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, 90% of
men
Use synonyms
chose the Skilled Vocational
Diploma
Use synonyms
as their next step in
post-school
Use synonyms
qualification , followed by a Postgraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
with 70% of the
overall
Linking Words
percentage.
Then
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
who preferred a Masters
Degree
Use synonyms
demonstrated 60% . next , those who decided to hold a Bachelor's
degree
Use synonyms
showed almost 45% of the total .
While
Linking Words
Undergraduate
Diploma
Use synonyms
holders displayed the lowest figure by only 35% .
To conclude
Linking Words
, a variability in
post-school
Use synonyms
qualifications in Australia in 1999 was seen between
men
Use synonyms
and women .
Submitted by hindgadeem123 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words post-school, men, diploma, degree with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "displays" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • post-school qualifications
  • gender disparity
  • representation
  • overshadow
  • notable
  • predominantly
  • overall trend
  • significant
  • minimal gap
  • participation
  • comparison
  • qualification levels
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