IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of unemployed people aged between 15 and 24 in five European countries in 2005, compared with the overall percentage of unemployment in those countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #people #five #european #countries #unemployment #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided graph depicts the various
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
 of individuals who
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 unemployed in several countries in 2005.
Overall
, the graph evaluates two main criteria, the
unemployment
rate
 on the scale of adolescents from 15 to 24 years old and the
overall
, which
is occupy
Wrong verb form
occupies
show examples
 the largest part in Poland and estimated the smallest percentage of that in Denmark. It can be clearly seen that the number of young
people
 who are unemploy was counted as an enormous
rate
, more than 35%, which occupied approximately 15% of the total
unemployment
 in Poland. The second largest
rate
 of young
people
 who are unemploy belongs to Italy with around 22% and 7% when compared with that in total
unemployment
 in 2005. In Hungary, there were 17% of unemployed young
people
 in 2005, 6% of that total
rate
 of unemployed
people
. There was a remarkable percentage of adolescents unemployed in Germany almost 15% and it is 10% when compared with all kinds of
unemployment
 in the country. Denmark was the country having the lowest percentage of young
people
 who were
unemploy
Correct your spelling
unemployed
show examples
 in 2005 with just over 6%, and it was 3% in total
unemployment
.
Submitted by pquocvinh0810 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Linking words: Add more linking words.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, unemployment, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • unemployment rate
  • youth unemployment
  • overall unemployment
  • comparison
  • percentage
  • aged between
  • economic conditions
  • educational system
  • vocational training
  • long-term impacts
  • policy changes
  • job training programs
  • disparity
  • national unemployment rates
  • European countries
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!