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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The following diagram shows the process of cloning a sheep. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The diagram
illustates
Correct your spelling
illustrates
 how a
sheep
Use synonyms
 is cloned. In a big picture, the process requires 3
sheep
Use synonyms
 to be involved.
Initially
Linking Words
, two female
sheep
Use synonyms
, A and B were brought to the
expirement
Correct your spelling
experiment
 base where different components were collected respectively. A DNA was extracted from a body
cell
Use synonyms
, which
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 taken from the body of
sheep
Use synonyms
 A. Meanwhile, an egg
cell
Use synonyms
, which was originally from
sheep
Use synonyms
 B, was collected with its nucleus removed for the cloning project onwards. After the components were extracted from the two
sheep
Use synonyms
, the Egg
cell
Use synonyms
 and DNA collected were fused between each other, allowing the fused
cell
Use synonyms
 to multiply and
became
Wrong verb form
become
show examples
 an embryo which is
then
Linking Words
 relocated
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the uterus of
sheep
Use synonyms
 C, the foster mother. If processes were completed smoothly, a new lamb, which is a clone of
sheep
Use synonyms
 A,
will
Wrong verb form
would
show examples
 be born after a few months.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sheep, cell with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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