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When a person spends most of his or her time working a job with little job satisfaction, their life loses meaning. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#person #time #job #satisfaction #life
In recent years, many
people
 need to
work
 jobs that they are displeased with. Personally, I agree with
this
 opinion in some ways.
However
, it is unable to define the meaning of life with only one factor. Support will be illustrated in the following paragraphs: On the one hand, most
people
 may burn out from jobs that they are dissatisfied with. From the administration of some companies, employees need to do tasks over their responsibility
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 makes them incapable of coping with it–pushing them
to
Change preposition
under
show examples
 high pressure and losing their self-confidence which leads to performance issues;
in addition
, the socialites in business do not encourage their ability. If the environment between colleagues is intense competition, they will be unable to
work
 in teams or face the circumstances of stealing their
work
 which leads to their stress and anxiety.
On the other hand
, individuals are able to fulfil their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 in other ways. With the high pressure in their works
that is
 often followed by high remunerations.
People
 are capable of spending their money on life’s quality and pursuing their dreams.
For instance
, many workers employ long holidays for boarding trips to explore new experiences and find new inspirations or other
people
 spend their time after
work
to begin
 their business.
By the
Change preposition
The
show examples
 salary,
that makes
Verb problem
gives
show examples
 them
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a relaxing time and opportunities to follow their dreams.
Moreover
, they are able to support their family when the members face a problem.
For example
, when the members have accidents or illnesses, they will have an ability to expand the costs of treatments that
develops
Change the verb form
develop
show examples
 a positive feeling
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 themselves. As I mentioned, there are some drawbacks when
people
 need to
work
 for dissatisfying jobs; Especially losing motivation.
However
, other factors in their life outweigh the disadvantages–particularly with their salary.
Therefore
, they should focus on tremendous boons and keep themselves to better lives.
Submitted by jeebjib14 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and maintains a logical progression. Consider making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but they can be more compelling. Try to refine them to provide a stronger first impression and a more satisfying closing statement.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively, but try to develop your ideas more comprehensively. Adding more depth to your arguments and including more specific examples can make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear, but they can benefit from more precise language. Avoid overly general statements and aim for specificity to enhance the clarity of your arguments.
task achievement
You provided a relevant and complete response to the task, addressing both perspectives on the issue.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The examples you used to support your points were relevant and added value to your arguments.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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