Personal development -agree or disagree..personal development is the base for professional development and advancing in once carrier. To what extend do you agree or disagree

#development #-agree #base #carrier

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I personally believe that personal development can help a

person

to grow as a professional. When a

person

become

Change the verb form

becomes

show examples

aware of himself,

understands

Correct word choice

and understands

show examples

his strengths and weaknesses, he can easily advance in his career.

Moreover

, what a

person

believes about himself in his personal thoughts,

he it

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is actually it is in his professional

lifes

Correct your spelling

lives

life

. Personal life shadows one's

profesional

Correct your spelling

professional

life because it helps a

person

to act as a professional.

For example

, those who love to take challenges in their personal lives, have the same courage and enthusiasm

Change preposition

show examples

their professional lives and love to overcome challenges. When a

person

grows as a professional, he grows personally as well. Most importantly, his personal development shapes his professional career.

However

, it is

recomended

Correct your spelling

recommended

in some professions to keep aside personal beliefs, prejudices, and ideas to maintain cultural competence. Social work is one of them which requires a clean and fresh image of the professional.

This

profession deals with people from diverse backgrounds and

therefore

, being professional, not personal is very important here.

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Thu Sep 12 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, consider adding clear introductory and concluding paragraphs. This will provide a more structured framework to your essay.

task achievement

Strengthen your argument by elaborating more on key points and providing additional specific examples. For instance, you can describe in more detail how personal development skills like time management or emotional intelligence can translate to professional success.

task achievement

Try to correct minor grammatical errors to improve clarity and readability, such as 'professional lifes', which should be 'professional life'.

task achievement

The essay provides a thoughtful analysis of the relationship between personal and professional development.

task achievement

Relevant examples, such as the one about social work, help to illustrate the points effectively.

coherence cohesion

The writing features a logical progression of ideas, making it generally easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

172 words

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Personal development -agree or disagree..personal development is the base for professional development and advancing in once carrier. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Include an introduction and conclusion

In some pleces old age is valued while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both view and give your opinion,

Some people think painting and drawings are important as other subjects. They should be compulsory in high school education. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 per cent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree?

In many countries it is now illegal to advetise alcohol. Do you agree or disagree?

Due to a more sedentary lifestyle, children in developed nations have higher levels of obesity compared to previous generations. What problems does this cause and what are the possible solutions?