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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

he graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.

he graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
#unemployment #rates #country #kingdom
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The provided bar graph gives information about how many
presentage
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percentage
 of
women
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was
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were
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 unemployed in the four countries of the UK over a two-year period between 2013 and 2014. it
is clearly see
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is clearly seen
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 that most countries namely England, Wales and Northern Ireland experienced a decrease in
unemployment
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 rates,
by
Linking Words
contrast
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contrast,
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 Scotland was only one country to experience
in
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an
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 increase in female
unemployment
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 . Getting back to the details by 2013 England had the highest
women
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rate
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 of
unemployment
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, which was 6.8% in
comparision
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comparison
 with the
precentages
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percentages
percentage
 of
women
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in another
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another countries
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another country
other countries
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. In others, it was
a
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apply
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slightly lower. (Scotland 6.1%, Northern Ireland 5.6% and the lowest
unemployment
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rate
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 was Wales -5.4%) In 2014 indicators were changed. Oppositely, Scotland was the only country to experience an increase in the female employment
rate
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 going from 6.1% to 6.7% in 2013 and 2014
pespectively
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respectively
 making
in
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it
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 the country with the largest
unemployment
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rate
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 among
women
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 in the UK.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Add more linking words.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words women, unemployment, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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