More and more people today are visiting extreme places such as Antarctica or the Sahara desert. What are the advantages or disadvantages of such travels?

#people #places #antarctica #sahara #desert

Nowadays, most

people

tend to go the dangerous places like the Sahara desert and Antarctica where the weather

condition

Fix the agreement mistake

conditions

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

not comfortable for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life.

This

essay will suggest that the life-threatening journey is the primary disadvantage of

this

and getting a

dophamine

Correct your spelling

dopamine

from

such

areas is the biggest advantage. The main drawback of

this

trip is that it can be harmful to

people

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

as Antarctica is the coldest place, and the Sahara desert is the hottest one, so they are not suitable for living.

In addition

, the creatures that inhabit there are wild

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and can attack tourists. The Times recently reported that in 2018 only 20% of individuals who risked to climb

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Mount

Everesest

Correct your spelling

Everest

which is the highest mountain, came back from the trip. Despite these negative aspects, many

people

often find it interesting to see

these kind

Change the determiner

this kind

these kinds

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of beauty of the world,since there are wild animals

such

penguinss

Correct your spelling

penguins

, Saharan

fox

Fix the agreement mistake

foxes

show examples

antelope

Correct word choice

and antelope

show examples

, which exist only there.

Moreover

, the internet is so popular and when we see the photos on it, we feel like we were there in real life, so that's why when we take a tour to extreme places, it gives a

lot

Add the preposition

lot of

show examples

emotions and is intriguing

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all of us. What is more, it can help to explore

flora

Correct article usage

the flora

show examples

and fauna of inaccessible locations. In conclusion, taking a risk to

visiting

Change the verb form

visit

show examples

extreme regions can be advantageous, if

people

comply

the

Change preposition

with the

show examples

safety measures.

However

, they should

also

be careful that it does not lead to disillusionment with travel altogether.

Submitted by omarovaa.access on Thu Sep 12 2024

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Grammar and Punctuation

Polish your grammar and punctuation. There are a few minor mistakes that affect the overall readability.

Task Achievement

Try to use more specific examples to better illustrate your points, especially when discussing the advantages of visiting extreme places.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and flow better.

Structure

Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame your arguments.

Task Achievement

You have presented both advantages and disadvantages, making your essay well-balanced.

Task Achievement

Your use of specific creatures and statistical data make your points more compelling.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

254 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more people today are visiting extreme places such as Antarctica or the Sahara desert. What are the advantages or disadvantages of such travels?

Fully explain your ideas

Some think that these environmental problems are too big for individuals to be solved. While other think that individual can not solve these environmental problems unless governments make some action. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the only way to get success is to go to universities while others think that it depends on other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?