IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

some people think that it is more effective for students to study in a group while others believe that it is better for them to study alone. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #effective #students #study #group
It is common
parents
Change preposition
for parents
show examples
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
Correct article usage
a contraversial
show examples
contraversial
Correct your spelling
controversial
 opinion about the
study
method
 of children. Some people argue that
group
studies
 are an effective
method
,
while
 others claim that studying alone is preferable. Even though
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
self
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
study
 brings some benefits ,I firmly believe that
group
study
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 more benefits for
students
 since easy to
clarification
Replace the word
clarify
show examples
 and forecast to
study
 more.
To begin
, some people claim that studying alone is a more beneficial
method
 for those who are
learnig
Correct your spelling
learning
. An argument in favour of
this
 notion is that helps
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 make
self
ivaluations
Correct your spelling
evaluations
evaluation
valuations
. To be more precise, every
students
Change noun form
student's
show examples
 aim is to get
a good scores
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good score
good scores
show examples
 in their exams where
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
sit
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
 alone .
Thus
, if they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
practice
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same manner that leads likely to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
success
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 exams easily without any hesitations.
For instance
, research shows in
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
,
incresing
Correct your spelling
increasing
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
due to
 their
self
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
study
 plan.
Furthermore
, when studying alone
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
helps to concentrate more effectively.
In other words
, some
students
 face difficulties when they experience noises which
cause to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
distract their
consuntration
Correct your spelling
concentration
concentrations
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 would be
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
 detrimentally their
studies
.
On the other hand
 , some of others who say ,
incuding
Correct your spelling
including
 me say that
group
study
 would be a better option to
study
. An argument in favour of
group
study
 is that which gives
enable
Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
show examples
students
 to know their
strength
Fix the agreement mistake
strengths
show examples
 and
weekness
Correct your spelling
weaknesses
due to
 comparing others. To illustrate, when
students
study
 together , they easily solve their
confusions
Fix the agreement mistake
confusion
show examples
 related to subjects .
For instance
, if
student
Correct article usage
a student
show examples
get
Verb problem
has
show examples
difficult
Replace the word
difficulty
show examples
to solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
maths equation
Fix the agreement mistake
math equations
show examples
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
peers
those
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
who
Add a missing verb
are expert
show examples
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in maths can help
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
resolve that.
Similarly
 when they are doing that help to improve their
studies
 without any struggle .
Moreover
,
group
studies
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
 to build a strong relationship between
students
 and can obtain a wide range of knowledge.
For example
, if they are doing questions and answers , everyone
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 suggestions from their
knowlege
Correct your spelling
knowledge
. Which practices can help encourage
students
think
Add the particle
to think
show examples
 wisely. In conclusion, even though
self
Add a hyphen
self-study
show examples
study
constitute
Change the verb form
constitutes
show examples
 some benefits ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe
group
study
 is
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
promonent
Correct your spelling
prominent
method
 of studying
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since that enables
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
comprehensive
Replace the word
comprehend
show examples
 their ability.
Submitted by jivenica1998 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your thoughts in a more coherent manner so that the essay flows more smoothly. Consider using transition words or phrases to connect paragraphs and ideas.
general
Pay close attention to sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation. Minor errors can sometimes disrupt the reader's understanding.
task achievement
Be clearer and more comprehensive in your ideas. Expand on points and make sure each argument is fully developed.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, helping to frame your arguments well.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirements.
task achievement
Good use of relevant examples to support your points, which adds depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: