Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to staying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is a controversial topic whether should university
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

get extra
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in their universities or just focus on their main
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. I firmly agree that
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

must stay on one subject.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will explore both perspectives and give several reasons why I disagree with getting additional classes. On the one hand, every
pupils
Change to a singular noun
pupil

The singular quantifier every is followed by the plural noun pupils. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

show examples
should pay attention to other
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

their primary fields.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is essential to enhance their general knowledge and experiences. A person who pursues an additional subject will gather new information, which plays a vital role in increasing his general knowledge.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, a medicine student can attend
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
history classes in order to be
more
Correct article usage
a more

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
intellectually
Change the word
intellectual

Intellectually seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

show examples
person.
Also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, by doing so, people will be more aware of the world.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may alter his or her perspective.
Thus
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, receiving extra
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is crucial for personal and intellectual improvement
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, university
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to only study and give all effort to their major domains to become
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts

It seems that expert may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
. To attain
qualification
Add an article
the qualification

The noun phrase qualification seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
, it is essential to study
edeavorously
Correct your spelling
decorously

If you don’t want edeavorously to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

with immense determination. Many renowned scientists spent their whole lives to accomplish success. Albert Einstein,
for instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, tried several times to find his theories about quantum physics.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if individuals want to achieve something notable, they have to give all their time to one subject. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

some people suggest
to study
Change the verb form
studying

The verb study is usually in the gerund form when following the word suggest. Consider replacing it with the -ing form.

show examples
other field
Change the wording
another field
other fields

The adjective other appears to be modifying the singular noun field. Consider making a change.

show examples
because of improving their general knowledge and
being
Wrong verb form
be

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb being. Consider changing it.

show examples
more conscious, I strongly agree that university
students
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have to put a significant effort
to
Change preposition
into

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
their original
subjects
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

which is needed
for
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
recieveing
Correct your spelling
receive

If you don’t want recieveing to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

a qualification and
proving
Wrong verb form
prove

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb proving. Consider changing it.

show examples
something valuable.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive response to the task by discussing both perspectives, but the arguments could be better organized. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words and phrases more fluently to enhance the flow of ideas. This will improve the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay. Consider using such phrases as 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'Furthermore' to connect your points better.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents and discusses both views on the topic, which shows a good understanding of the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effective in framing the essay's argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
What to do next:
Look at other essays: