Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people

The high level of

sugar

problem is being followed from our ancestor's time.

However

, today's generation is most likely having

sugar

problems because of the

highly

Change the word

high

show examples

fast food

consumption

. I disagree with the statement that

ugar

Correct your spelling

sugar

war

necessary

Add an article

a necessary

show examples

ingredient in our daily life

consumption

, making

sugar

expensive is not the solution.

In addition

, government the can take action against the company, which

produce

Correct subject-verb agreement

produces

show examples

highly sugary drinks or meals. Commencing with the most prominent reason,

sugar

is consumed in our daily life food ingredients, making essential things expensive can cause inflation.

Although

Correct word choice

However

show examples

, raising

sugar

prices can lead to

consumption

where necessary.The raised price will maintain a balance on

individuals

Change noun form

individuals'

individual's

show examples

health.

For instance

, take action against those who manufacture

contain

Verb problem

apply

show examples

sugary items

for example

, in recent times, A YouTuber named "Dhruv Rathea" from India, launched a video against a juice firm which was containing Ultimate chemicals with high levels of

sugar

Furthermore

, after that viral video state government took action and warned firm owners to reduce chemical

consumption

Moreover

, increasing the prices, and taxes could not be the solution to revoke

consumption

However

, increasing the prices can encourage smugglers to smuggle sweets and sell them on the black market In conclusion,

although

first,

this

solution seems reasonable

due to

helping individuals healthier lives and make new habits about diet. if you observe deeper, you will find out there is no food available in the market which prevents

Sugar

Submitted by tushalk329 on Thu Sep 12 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Work on providing clearer and more comprehensive ideas to support your viewpoint. This can be done by expanding on specific points and explaining their relevance in more depth.

coherence cohesion

Improve logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and directly relates to the topic. Transitions between paragraphs should also be smoother.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring the essay.

task achievement

The example of the YouTuber Dhruv Rathee is relevant and helps support your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

237 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

health problems
manufactured food and drink products
sugary products
excessive sugar consumption
discourage
promote
healthier choices
reduce
increased taxes
fund
health education
prevention programs

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Every year some languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
ln some parts of the world, native languages are being lost as the world develops and evolves. Some believe that this is unimportant and even see it as an advantage. This essay will discuss whether the loss of languages should be cause for concern.
4.5
band
Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. Do you agree
At present, whole world is recovering from covid pandemic and also going through an immense economic inflation. Consequently, people who are professionals in arts are struggling because of decreased financial income. Hence, central ruling body need to provide them a financial support in order to encourage them to invent new artistic contents. In my point of view, these professionals should be given a funded aid by the governing authority and the facts are reviewed in the following assay.
4.5
band
Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?
In this fast-paced world, everthing is available on the internet whereas in the past period, people used to get knowledege by books and on paper. I think this phenomenon has more benefits than drawbacks. This essay shall discuss it briefly in the following reasons.
4.5
band
The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.
The statictic reflexes the reality, and the reality is a massive increase of overwighted kids all around the world. We have been witnessing the puzzling situation with fast food and other types of non-organic food. Over 20 per cent increase of younger generation has been sufferinf from obesity for the last decade shows the trand. In this essay we will consider a list of efforts and potential solution we could have come up with.
7.5
band
There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.
The decision to have no children is increasing among married couples all over the world. The advantages to this are more personal time and less financial stress. The disadvantages are the inability to conceive later and the poor economic impact in the long run.

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Every year some languages die out. Some people think that it is not important because life will be easier if there are few languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Most artists earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. Do you agree

Nowadays, most of the information is available on the Internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think the advantages of this situation outweigh its disadvantages?

The percentage of overweight children in western societies has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer solution.

There is an increasing trend around the world of married couples deciding not to have children. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for couples who decide to do this.