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Writing Samples /
Band 5

Your family recently decided to sell their car, and not get anotehr one. Write an email to a friend telling them about living without a car. In your email you should; explain why your family decided to sell the car, describe how you will travel around in the future, say what might be difficult about not having a car.

#car #anotehr #email #friend #travel #future
Dear Is-
haaq
Correct your spelling
Iraq
, How are you doing? I hope you are well. I would like to apologize for being unable to attend your sister's birthday party. I'll make it next year. Anyway, recently, my parents had sold our
car
. I can't wait to tell you all about it.
To begin
 with, my parents had sold the
car
 because they
neede
Correct your spelling
need
needed
 a
few
Correct quantifier usage
little
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 extra cash, since my dad got a new job
at
Change preposition
in
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 another city, so we would have to move there
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 month.
However
, I personally didn't like
this
 idea, because, I spent my childhood here and I have got good friends here as well. With our
car
 being sold, I would have to find another way to get to point B from point A. My first choice of transportation was a taxi.
However
,
taxi
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taxis
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 were too expensive, so I just stuck with the idea of travelling
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the local bus. Since I'll be travelling in the bus for the rest of my life until my family buys a new
car
, I would have to be extra careful as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 there are so many creepy people out there. But one thing, I'll miss for sure is our road trips. Without a
car
, we won't be able to go on road trips. Before
sealing
Verb problem
writing
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this
 letter, I would say that I really miss our
car
 and all the fun times we spent in the
car
.
Nevertheless
, I hope I get a first reply as we got
up coming
Correct your spelling
upcoming
show examples
 term exams to attend. Love, Himya
Submitted by maryamshafeeq on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to improve coherence. For example, the transition between talking about your parents selling the car and describing how you will travel in the future could be smoother.
task achievement
While you mentioned several reasons and implications for selling the car, make sure to elaborate more on each point. For instance, provide more details on how your dad's new job impacts the decision and how traveling by bus has affected your routine directly.
task achievement
You addressed all parts of the task effectively, explaining the reason for selling the car, how you will travel in the future, and what challenges you might face without a car.
task achievement
You provided clear and comprehensive ideas, making it easy for the reader to understand your situation and perspective.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and contribute well to the overall structure of the email.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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