In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #men #women #work #time #people #household #e #g #children

In recent times

household

tasks

are

Verb problem

have

show examples

increased. It is a highly debatable issue whether

parents

should share

household

tasks

, or whether it is the women's responsibility.

This

essay will outline the benefits of helping each other

in home

Add a hyphen

in-home

show examples

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

. Working both males and females

togother

Correct your spelling

together

has a vital role in social life. It promotes

the

Correct article usage

show examples

sense of collaboration between

parents

which can lead to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

empathy.

For example

, the result of conducted research at Glasgow University illustrates that 90% of

parents

live

more happy

Correct word choice

happier

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

than those who depend only on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

womens

Correct your spelling

women

show examples

Furthermore

, helping each other

Change preposition

with

show examples

household

tasks

may open doors to

explore

Wrong verb form

exploring

show examples

a new experience. If the men try to cook food,

potentialy

Correct your spelling

potentially

they will be empowered to cook various types of food.

Thus

, they could learn and gain experience from each other.

In addition

parents

can learn to become independent people.

this

may

helps

Change the verb form

help

show examples

them when they travel abroad.

For instance

, my friend Fatma her husband always helps her and now he is self-reliant as he can clean and wash clothes when he

travel

Change the verb form

travels

show examples

abroad.

Moreover

, the benefits of helping each other

not

Add a missing verb

are not

show examples

only limited to

household

tasks

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

but

also

it has

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

a big impact on saving time. Men and women would often finish their work early and without effort. To illustrate, my sister has enough time to

visite

Correct your spelling

visit

show examples

her

relevents

Correct your spelling

relatives

and shopping

due to

her husband's help. So,

this

can make the family more

relax

Wrong verb form

relaxed

show examples

. In conclusion,

boosts

Wrong verb form

boosting

show examples

self-esteems

Correct your spelling

self-esteem

show examples

gains

Wrong verb form

gaining

show examples

many skills ,

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

independent people and

save

Wrong verb form

saving

show examples

time are all the benefits of sharing

household

tasks

Therefore

, the idea of depending only on

womens

Correct your spelling

women

women's

shold

Correct your spelling

should

be stopped. Both

male

Fix the agreement mistake

males

show examples

and

female

Fix the agreement mistake

females

show examples

should have a

balance

Change the verb form

balanced

show examples

life.

Submitted by 13570581 on Fri Sep 13 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your arguments with additional supporting details. For instance, further explanation on how undertaking household tasks specifically boosts self-esteem and independence would be helpful.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical structure of your paragraphs to ensure a smoother flow. Some points started abruptly and could benefit from better transitions.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction sets up the discussion well by addressing the two viewpoints and stating what the essay will cover.

supported main points

You've used relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay and makes it more relatable.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion aptly summarizes the key points discussed in the essay, reinforcing your stance.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries today, both men and women need to work full time. Therefore, some people think men and women should share household task equally (e.g. cleaning and looking after children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

There are serious concerns about the sale and production of genetically modified food. Yet this is necessary if we are to meet the demands often increasing world population. Give your opinions on this.

More and more animal species are becoming extinct by human activities in land and sea. What are the reasons and solutions?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employee rather than to work for a company or organization. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animals all over the world. Some people think it is too late to do something about it. Others think there is still some time to take actions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many cities are now turning parks and farmland into new housing developments