IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You are living in a city in a foreign country, and a friend from your home country is soon coming to visit you for several days. Write an email to your friend. In this letter: · ask him/her to bring some things from home which you need · say why you need them · make arrangements to meet him/her

#city #country #friend #home #visit #email #arrangements
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ear Jennifer, How are you holding up? I’m so excited that you are coming to Rome, you will see why I love the city so much.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 I have one request. Maybe you can visit my
moms
Change to a genitive case
mom's
moms'
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 house and bring me the package
that is
 in the blue box. It should be in my room, right on top of my desk. If you don’t find it,
then
 just ask my mom, she will be thrilled to see you after a long time. But don’t peek into it, it’s a surprise.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 I wanted to discuss, where am I meeting you. I know that your flight will land on July 15th, 11:30 in Fiumicino airport. So, at 12:00 I will be waiting for you in the parking lot of the airport. Ask someone there to help you navigate or call me.
Seen
Wrong verb form
See
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 you soon!
Submitted by oimigle on

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task achievement
Add a bit more detail about why you need the package from home. It will make your request clearer.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph addresses a single idea to make your letter more readable.
task achievement
Good use of a friendly and suitable tone for the context of writing to a friend.
coherence cohesion
The letter has a clear greeting and closing, which is important for coherence.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • anticipation
  • cultural artifacts
  • customs regulations
  • express excitement
  • luggage limitations
  • reciprocate
  • traditional spices
  • local snacks
What to do next:
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