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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart shows the percentage of adult male smokers in seven countries along with the world average in 2000 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The chart gives information about the proportion of males who smoked in seven different countries
as well as
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 the global average in 2000 and 2015.
Overall
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, it can be clearly seen that except in Egypt and Lebanon, in 2000 the proportion of male smokers was higher than in 2015, America had the highest proportion of cigarette consumers.
To begin
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 with,
while
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 in America and Bangladesh, the distribution of smokers was higher than 70%, it decreased to just more than 50% and below 40%.
In addition
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, almost half of men in Cuba smoked in both of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 given years.
Additionally
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, it can be observed that smoking was almost halved in 15 years, in Mexico and Australia. Standard cigarette consumption in the world
also
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 rose,
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however
Add a comma
however,
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 there was no noticeable change which was about 10%.
In contrast
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, the usage of cigarettes increased by about 20% in Egypt.
Similarly
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, in
Lebanon
Add a comma
Lebanon,
show examples
 it went up by about 10%.

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Vocabulary: The word "gives" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart, percentage, adult male smokers
  • world average, increased, decreased
  • tobacco consumption, lung cancer
  • public health, awareness campaigns
  • government policy, smoking bans
  • health risks, nicotine, tobacco industry
  • chart analysis, data comparison
  • statistical trend, significant fluctuation
  • stagnation, steady rise, moderate fall
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