IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.

The line graph shows visits to and from the UK from 1979 to 1999, and the bar graph shows the most popular countries visited by UK residents in 1999.
#line #visits #uk #bar #countries #residents
The two charts illustrate
visits
 to and from the
UK
 between 1979-1999 and the bar graph demonstrates the most famous countries visited by
UK
 inhabitants in 1999.It is obvious that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the least
visits
 to and from the
UK
seems
Verb problem
were
show examples
 in 1979
then
France
 topped
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
 visited by the
UK
 in 1999, in the same year
Turkey
 was the lowest country visited by
UK
residents
.In 1999 the amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
visits
 abroad by
UK
residents
 increased by approximately more than 5 times compared to 1979. In 1979
visits
 to the
UK
 by overseas
residents
 consisted of almost 10 million
people
then
 we can see that same year
visits
 abroad by
UK
residents
 were a little bit more than other ones. Same year we can see almost
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 results but
visits
 abroad by
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
residents
 a little bit more than
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 one. We can’t see a noticeable change until 1984,
however
, after 1984 we can see a conspicuous change
visits
Change preposition
in visits
show examples
 to and from
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
. After 1989,
visits
 to and from the
UK
 showed an increased tendency all the way up. In 1999, we can see the best results of
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visits
 to and from the
UK
.
Visits
 abroad by
UK
residents
 increased almost 5 times, in the other one we can’t see a significant change
nevertheless
, it increased approximately more than 3 times. In the second
chart
Add a comma
chart,
show examples
France
 has the most significant pose than the other countries.More than 10 million
people
 visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
.
On the contrary
,
Turkey
hasn’t
Verb problem
doesn’t
show examples
 an important pose which
people
 don’t come to
this
 country.
Additi onally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
show examples
, between zero and 5 million
people
 visited
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Turkey
 in 1999.Spain,the USA,
Greece
Correct word choice
and Greece
show examples
 show us
ave rage
Correct your spelling
average
show examples
 results which we can see
people
 don’t these countries visited as
France
 but visitors don’t less than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Turkey
.
Submitted by alialiyevv423 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visits, uk, france, turkey, residents, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: