Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while other consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and you opinion.
In today's modern era,
majority
of the folks prefer to Correct article usage
the majority
move
and settle in foriegn
countries which are developed. Individuals, couples Correct your spelling
foreign
as well as
families
prefer to settle down in more developed nations. no doubt it is beneficial for them but sometimes children
find it very hard to adjust and adapt the
changes so they go through a lot Change preposition
to the
while
Change preposition
during
this
transition as well.
Mostly, when the
individuals are not able to see any Correct article usage
apply
hopes
for their future in their own home Fix the agreement mistake
hope
country
, they decide to move
abroad for exploring
more job opportunities and career options. Change preposition
to explore
Secondly
, they get vast experience and quality of life
in the developed countries. There they are able to support their own selves along with
their families
because they get enough working
opportunities and Replace the word
work
competetive
wages as well. Correct your spelling
competitive
Thirdly
, they get exposure to vast culture and life
experiences which helps them a lot throughout their life
. So, most of the peoplen
choose to settle down Correct your spelling
people
in
abroad as they are able to make a bright future for their own selves and for their Change preposition
apply
families
as well.
However
, if we look the
other side, Change preposition
at the
children
of those families
who move
abroad face a lots
of challenges. Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
Firstly
they find it difficult to adapt the
new routines and new culture of the Change preposition
to the
country
. It takes a lot of time ton
learn those things again from starting when they start their Correct your spelling
to
life
in a new country
. Secondly
, they feel out of space as they join a new school or college in a foriegn
Correct your spelling
foreign
country
and it becomes hard for them to make good friends and connections. Sometimes they get bullied by children
at
new Change preposition
in
place
. Fix the agreement mistake
places
Thirdly
, the language barrier is also
there so it gets hard for them to communicate with people as well at new place
. Because of Fix the agreement mistake
places
such
reasons, it gets very difficult for the children
to settle down and adapt the
changes.
In my Change preposition
to the
openion
, it is good that Correct your spelling
opinion
families
think about the future and decide to move
but they should equally pay attention towards their wards so that they can support them whenever they feel demotivated.Submitted by sharngadhra53 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your thoughts better for smoother transitions between ideas. Use more linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'In addition,' or 'On the other hand' to improve flow.
task achievement
Try to deepen the analysis of both views. Don't just state them. Go into more detail about why these views are held and consider potential counter-arguments or limitations.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling and grammar. There are some minor errors like 'folks,' 'foriegn,' 'peoplen,' and 'openion.' Polishing these can make the essay more professional and easier to read.
coherence cohesion
Good job on having a clear introduction and conclusion. This helps frame your essay well.
task achievement
You covered both sides of the argument and provided reasons for each. This shows a balanced approach.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally easy to follow and the main ideas are clear. This shows a good level of coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.