Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is believed that raising the

cost

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of sugary

products

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can reduce the global demand for these kinds of

products

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as food and drinks

contained

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containing

show examples

sugar

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can lead to several series

health

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conditions. I completely disagree with

this

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notion for various reasons, which will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay.

Sugar

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is an important part of everyone's diet and it has so many fans all over the world.

In other words

Linking Words

sugar

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has become a part of our

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

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over time.

Therefore

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, by raising the sweet items' price, most

Change preposition

apply

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people still may not avoid consuming

sugar

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Moreover

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, the high

cost

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of sugary

products

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turns them into luxury

products

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which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

only families with financial difficulties may stop purchasing these sweet

products

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while

Linking Words

wealthier families still can afford them.

Finally

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, other

products

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may become more expensive worldwide, following the increasing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cost

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sugar

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to set up a balance in

international

Add an article

the international

show examples

market. There are more effective solutions to address the problem of consuming so much

sugar

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by individuals. The demand for unhealthy foods

such

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as sugary items can be controlled by raising

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public awareness about the

health

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risks of using

sugar

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For example

Linking Words

, the

health

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problems caused by manufactured sugary foods and drinks should be explained and described in national TV channels or public booklets.

Additionally

Linking Words

, the government should establish initiatives to inform school students about the high risk of eating foods with a high amount of

sugar

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from an early age.

This

Linking Words

can be done by publishing a compulsory specific book about numerous

health

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conditions

occurred

Correct pronoun usage

that occurred

show examples

after using

sugar

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for primary school students. In conclusion, the high

cost

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sugar

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globally cannot reduce

Correct article usage

the demands

show examples

demands

Fix the agreement mistake

demand

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for it. Other beneficial actions can be done to tackle

this

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issue,

such

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as educating people about what

health

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problems consuming

sugar

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can cause over time.

ava.saljoughiSat Sep 14 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve cohesion, use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure a smoother flow between the points. Focus on the transition between paragraphs and ideas for better readability.

task achievement

To strengthen the task achievement, incorporate more specific examples and evidence to support your points. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic and provide a more compelling argument.

task achievement

The essay provides a complete response to the task with clear and comprehensive ideas. You have clearly stated your stance and provided reasons to support it, which is good for achieving a higher task achievement score.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present and neatly encapsulate the overall arguments. This helps in maintaining the logical structure of the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar consumption
health problems
manufactured food and drink products
encourage
expensive
reduce
effectively
discourage
tight budget
purchasing
disproportionately
lower-income individuals
healthier food choices
demand
regardless

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that robots will play an important role in future societies, while others argue that robots might have negative effects on society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual welbeing. What factors contribute to job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of job satisfaction for all workers?

In many countries, the qualities of life in large cities is becoming worse. What are the cause for this problem? What measure should be taken to tackle this problem?