IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#countries #consumers #supermarket #food #world #development
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In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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recent times, it has become common for
people
 to visit supermarkets and get
food
that is
 imported from different parts of the world. With globalization, it's easier than ever, for
people
 to buy
food
 from different parts of the world.
While
 that brings many advantages, it
also
 raises some drawbacks. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both the
benefirs
Correct your spelling
benefits
 and potential issues of
this
 trend. One main advantage of being able to buy
food
 from around the globe is the variety of
this
 offer.
People
 can enjoy fruits, vegetables, and other foods that may not be in
locally
Change the adverb
local
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 shops, because of climate or
seasom
Correct your spelling
season
.
This
 gives consumers more options and can
also
 improve their diets.
For example
,
people
 in cold regions can have fresh tropical fruits during the winter months.
Additionally
,
this
 global
food
 trade helps connect economies, giving farmers in developing countries the chance to sell their goods.
However
, there are
also
 challenges with relying on global
food
 delivery. Transporting
food
 across long distances increases carbon emissions, which
harmful
Add a missing verb
is harmful
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for
Change preposition
to
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 the environment.
This
 practice
also
 raises
worryabout
Correct your spelling
worry about
food
 security, as
country
Add an article
a country
the country
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 that depends too much on foreign
food
 might struggle if global delivery chains are disrupted.
Furthermore
, it may hurt local farmers who might not be able to compete with cheaper, imported
goodd
Correct your spelling
goods
. In conclusion,
while
 the global trade of
food
 brings more choices for consumers and supports international economies, it
also
 creates environmental challenges and potential risks for local farmers. Balancing
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 factors is very important for the future of
food
 systems worldwide.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

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coherence and cohesion
Try to use a few more linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Take care to avoid small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct word forms. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
Including a few more specific examples can strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more effectively. Try to relate a couple of your main points to real-world scenarios or data.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and provided a balanced discussion, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly expressed, with good use of vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This makes your writing engaging and comprehensible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
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