In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
recent times, it has become common for
people
to visit supermarkets and get
food
that is
imported from different parts of the world. With globalization, it's easier than ever, for
people
to buy
food
from different parts of the world.
While
that brings many advantages, it
also
raises some drawbacks. In
this
essay, I will discuss both the
benefirs
Correct your spelling
benefits
and potential issues of
this
trend. One main advantage of being able to buy
food
from around the globe is the variety of
this
offer.
People
can enjoy fruits, vegetables, and other foods that may not be in
locally
Change the adverb
local
show examples
shops, because of climate or
seasom
Correct your spelling
season
.
This
gives consumers more options and can
also
improve their diets.
For example
,
people
in cold regions can have fresh tropical fruits during the winter months.
Additionally
,
this
global
food
trade helps connect economies, giving farmers in developing countries the chance to sell their goods.
However
, there are
also
challenges with relying on global
food
delivery. Transporting
food
across long distances increases carbon emissions, which
harmful
Add a missing verb
is harmful
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the environment.
This
practice
also
raises
worryabout
Correct your spelling
worry about
food
security, as
country
Add an article
a country
the country
show examples
that depends too much on foreign
food
might struggle if global delivery chains are disrupted.
Furthermore
, it may hurt local farmers who might not be able to compete with cheaper, imported
goodd
Correct your spelling
goods
. In conclusion,
while
the global trade of
food
brings more choices for consumers and supports international economies, it
also
creates environmental challenges and potential risks for local farmers. Balancing
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
factors is very important for the future of
food
systems worldwide.
Submitted by a.seytzhanova on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to use a few more linking words and phrases for smoother transitions between ideas. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
task achievement
Take care to avoid small grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement and correct word forms. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
task achievement
Including a few more specific examples can strengthen your argument and illustrate your points more effectively. Try to relate a couple of your main points to real-world scenarios or data.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument and provided a balanced discussion, which demonstrates an understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Your ideas are clearly expressed, with good use of vocabulary and varied sentence structures. This makes your writing engaging and comprehensible.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrition
  • cultural exposure
  • competitive markets
  • economic boost
  • employment opportunities
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental impact
  • local produce
  • food security
  • global supply chain
  • sustainable practices
  • consumer choice
  • market dynamics
  • price competition
  • agricultural sector
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!