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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagrams below show the coastal village of Seaville in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the coastal village of Seaville in 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#diagrams #show #village #seaville #information #features #comparisons
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Linking Words
This
Change the determiner
These
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 maps illustrate the development and the changes
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Seaville between 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, There were significant changes at the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the
road
Use synonyms
 running inland to
seaside
Add an article
the seaside
show examples
 from 1980 to 2010.
Besides
Linking Words
, a golf course has been constructed
instead
Linking Words
 of Woodland.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Marsh and
holiday
Use synonyms
cottages
Use synonyms
 have been transformed
to
Change preposition
into
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 permanent houses.
In addition
Linking Words
, a large hotel has been constructed to the
sea
Correct your spelling
seaside
show examples
side
Use synonyms
. The village has become a
touristic
Replace the word
tourist
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 place for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a new
road
Use synonyms
 and a bridge have been completed over the river on the right
side
Use synonyms
. There were woodland, marsh,
holiday
Use synonyms
cottages
Use synonyms
 and a little hotel on the left
side
Use synonyms
 of the
road
Use synonyms
 running to
Add an article
the sea
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sea
Correct your spelling
seaside
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side
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
additionally
Add a comma
additionally,
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 there were tea rooms
nearby
Correct your spelling
near
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 the sand dooms in 1980. Woodland has been demolished and a golf course has been constructed
instead
Linking Words
 of it.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
permenent
Correct your spelling
permanent
 houses
replaced
Add a missing verb
were replaced
show examples
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
marsh and
holiday
Use synonyms
cottages
Use synonyms
. On the right
side
Use synonyms
 of the
road
Use synonyms
, a retirement village has been built.
Moreover
Linking Words
, tea rooms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been replaced by a hotel and restaurant near the
sea
Correct your spelling
seaside
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side
Use synonyms
. There has been a significant change on the East Bank and a new
road
Use synonyms
 which is running over the river has been
build
Wrong verb form
built
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.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 a new
brdige
Correct your spelling
bridge
 has been built over the river.
In addition
Linking Words
, new
holiday
Use synonyms
cottages
Use synonyms
 have been built
at
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the East bank.
Submitted by a.muratdemircan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "additionally, furthermore, in addition, instead, moreover".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words side, road, holiday, cottages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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