Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hand gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way? Do you think it is a good trend?
It is
becomeing
increasingly common for Correct your spelling
becoming
people
to take
extreme Verb problem
do
activities
, from hand gliding to mountain climbing. In this
essay, I will explain why people
are more likely risking
their Change the verb form
to risk
lives
and examine some benefits from it.
There are two underlying reasons why lots of people
now manage their own lives
to try some extreme activities
. One major point is they want to challenge their own fears or just release excessive amount
of stress that they have. These Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
activities
actually can boost dopamine in human
body as Add an article
the human
people
get more excited and can realease
their own stress. Correct your spelling
release
Moreover
, there are some people
who strangely have different hobbies in just particular dangerous sports, such
as F1 racing to sky diving, just because they simply get bored with their monoton
Correct your spelling
monotonous
monotone
monotony
lives
and probably just showing
off to others.
Taking Wrong verb form
show
risk
by taking some extreme Add an article
a risk
activities
offers several advantages. Firstly
, although
many people
believe that it will endangered
their own Change the verb form
endanger
lives
, individuals can exploring
and Change the verb form
explore
be exploring
experiencing
new things which actually not most Wrong verb form
experience
of
Change preposition
apply
people
would even think about it
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
will give them a sense of pride since they can accomplished
extreme Change the verb form
accomplish
activities
. Furthermore
, by experiencing several extreme activities
, they may increase their confidence levels and enhance their critical thinking to solve problems on the
daily basis.
In conclusion, Correct article usage
a
people
who experiencing
extreme Change the form of the verb
experience
activities
because of they want to facing
their fears, Change the verb
face
releasing
stress, or just get bored with their own Wrong verb form
release
lives
. Therefore
, I agree that it is a good trend since people
can broaden their horizon
in new things and increase their personal development, including increased confidence and higher critical thinking.Fix the agreement mistake
horizons
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on
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coherence cohesion
To achieve higher scores in coherence and cohesion, ensure a clearer logical structure. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea followed by relevant supporting sentences. Consider using more transitional phrases to indicate the progression of ideas.
task achievement
Be more specific with examples. For instance, discuss specific cases or statistics related to extreme activities and how they impact individuals. This will make your argument more concrete and persuasive.
general
Pay closer attention to grammar and vocabulary. Some sentences are somewhat unclear because of minor grammatical mistakes and incorrect word choices. Reviewing these areas can improve clarity and overall readability.
introduction conclusion presence
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and well articulated, effectively setting the stage for your argument and summarizing the essay.
task response
You presented the reasons why people engage in extreme activities and the advantages clearly. Your ideas are relevant and directly address the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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