The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #center #melbourne #australia #period

The graph below gives information on the

numbers

Fix the agreement mistake

number

show examples

of participants for different activities at one social

center

Change the spelling

centre

show examples

in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Submitted by reemo.r.s on Sat Sep 14 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

▼

Linking words: Add some linking words.

▼

Linking words: Add linking words.

▼

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

0Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

26 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?
Some people belive that economy is what makes a country success. However there are many factors that decides wheather a country is prosperity or not. This essay will discuss the maijor reasones that determin the country's success.
7.5
band
Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
more than local residents to visit important sites and monuments. I completely disagree with this idea.
5
band
Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now ‘one big traffic jam.’ How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In the last 3 decades, more and more people can easily afford for the cars that causes the terrible traffic jam in the metropolises whole over the world. I have experienced how jam traffic is in everyday rush hour in my city. This is a concerned issue that makes governments pay attention on finding the solution.
7.5
band
Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with?
In contemporary discourse, there exists a viewpoint asserting that advertising inspires us to collect things that we really do not need. some individuals argue that advertisements tell us about the latest products that may enhance our lives.However, I vehemently agree with the importance of advertising.
7.5
band
Parents, usually mothers, decide to stay at home to look after their families, rather than going back to work. Therefore, it is thought that they should be receiving some payments from the government for doing that. What is your opinion on that ?
After parenting, mothers normally opt to stay at home to take care of their newborn instead of returning to work. Some believe that government help should be granted to them. I agree with it, as people pay taxes to the government for their help. Also, babies need closer care from their parents.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Economic progress is often used to measure a country’s success. However, some people believe that other factors are more important. What other factors should also be considered when measuring a country’s success? Do you think one factor is more important than others?

Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attractions. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives. Which view point do you agree with?

Parents, usually mothers, decide to stay at home to look after their families, rather than going back to work. Therefore, it is thought that they should be receiving some payments from the government for doing that. What is your opinion on that ?