Many families move to different countries. Some people think children can benefit from this, while others consider it is hard for children if families move to a foreign country. Discuss both views and your opinion.
The number of people who immigrated to other countries has been increasing.Some people consider that unemployment triggers them to abandon their birthplace,
while
others claim that abroad can ensure their children’s well-being.Linking Words
Although
Linking Words
new
country can give opportunities for Correct article usage
a new
child’s
development, the outcome of facing Correct article usage
a child’s
new
environment can be detrimental Correct article usage
a new
for
Change preposition
to
child’s
mindset.
Correct article usage
a child’s
To begin
with,mainly moving to other places can assist children to flourish and improve their knowledge Linking Words
in
foreign languages.Change preposition
of
This
type of difficulty can arouse Linking Words
a
confidence and create readiness.Remove the article
apply
Also
,with the assistance of changing surrounding children’s viewpoint can fully change.Linking Words
For example
,witnessing a new lifestyle and stereotypes can help them to implement their dreams relating to study and find the sphere Linking Words
Change preposition
in that
that
they want to deepen Correct pronoun usage
which
knowledge
.Correct pronoun usage
their knowledge
As a result
,immigrating to Linking Words
other place
can create more opportunities and open many doors in front of their career path.
Change the wording
another place
other places
Along with
Linking Words
this
aspect,Linking Words
this
transformation can Linking Words
object
controversial Verb problem
lead to
effect
like causing distress and losing themselves in a new environment.Especially Fix the agreement mistake
effects
this
change can be a threatLinking Words
for
vulnerable children who have difficulty Change preposition
to
in
coping with stress and disposition Change preposition
apply
to
Change preposition
toward
the
Change the word
their
surrounding
.Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
For example
,introverted children can be afraid of displaying themselves in Linking Words
the
society and can become isolated.Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
,they can hardly deal with new languages not having certain skills and determination to join companies,which in Linking Words
its
turn will lead to negative shaping of character.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
To sum up
,it mainly depends on Linking Words
childrens
and the reaction of their brain in a new environment.Having to Correct your spelling
children
be adapted
Wrong verb form
adapt
in
a strange place among unknown people can assist them to be ready in facing Change preposition
to
the
problems.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by inessanazaryan1 on
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grammar
Try to avoid small grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For instance, 'can assist children to flourish' could be more smoothly written as 'can assist children in flourishing' and 'having to be adapted' could be 'having to adapt.'
task response
While the essay discusses both sides of the argument, improving the depth and clarity of your arguments could help upgrade your score. For instance, provide more nuanced points or reflect on counterarguments.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words or phrases appropriately can guide the reader through your essay more smoothly.
content
The essay offers balanced viewpoints about the benefits and drawbacks of children moving to a foreign country.
examples
Good use of examples to illustrate points, such as how a new lifestyle can help children find their career paths and how introverted children may struggle.
structure
Clear introduction and conclusion that effectively frame the discussion points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?