Some people argue that it is the government’s responsibility to transport children to school, while others believe that parents should do that. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In our world there are a
lot
issues, Add the preposition
lot of
Correct word choice
and this
this
issues affect our Change the determiner
these
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
children
transportation
Is one of these things. Some Change noun form
children's
people
think it is the government
responsibility to Change noun form
government's
to
Remove the redundancy
apply
transports
Wrong verb form
transport
children
to school
while
others think that there
parents should do that , Replace the word
their
this
essay will discuss both points of view and gives opinion
First of all , Add an article
an opinion
the opinion
governments
could benefit transporting
Change preposition
from transporting
children
to schools
to explain that, they could make transport with costs of money, for example
. In my country public schools
transport children
by monthly payments, in addition
to that , governments
can provide services for the non willthy
Correct your spelling
wealthy
will thy
people
, to illustrate that ,some people
do not have cars to transport their kids to schools
, for instance
. There are many people
that don’t have the funds to buy a car to
and they take their Change preposition
apply
children
to school
on the metro it
is a bit difficult for them.
Correct pronoun usage
which
On the other hand
, some people
find it safer to take their children
to school
, in other words
, they found
it more relaxing Wrong verb form
find
too
take Correct your spelling
to
there
Correct your spelling
their
children
to school
and sees
them walking into their Correct subject-verb agreement
see
schools
, as an example for
that , my father used to take us Change preposition
of
tho
Correct your spelling
to
school
because in his take on this
it’s more safer , moreover
. School
buses causes
traffic on the road, to give a clear explanation. Change the verb form
cause
Governments
are trying to make the streets less crowded but with fewer major cars , to give a clear example, in my country the most issues with transportation caused
by buses and major cars.
In my opinion, after detailing both sides of Add a missing verb
are caused
views
. Fix the agreement mistake
view
Governments
should provide transportation to people
children
to help them maintain the care and manage there
needs for Correct your spelling
their
children
Submitted by waleedal3ayed on
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task response
Be more precise in your introduction. While it mentions the main points, it is somewhat vague and needs to clearly state what each body paragraph will discuss.
coherence cohesion
Improve logical structure by refining transitions between ideas and ensuring clear linkage between sentences and paragraphs. This helps readers follow your argument more easily.
task response
Strengthen your main points with more relevant and specific examples. Elaborate on your examples and explain how they support your argument.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for grammatical errors, spelling mistakes, and use of appropriate punctuation. Minor mistakes can detract from the clarity of your essay.
task response
The essay addresses both points of view on whether the government or parents should be responsible for transporting children to school.
task response
The essay attempts to provide examples to support key points, which is a good practice.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.