such as their hobbies, and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant or useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is no denying the fact that some
companies
request some private information
about people they want to hire to work to
them Change preposition
for
such
as married status or hobbies which is for company intresets
, Correct your spelling
interest
While
it is commonly held belief that asking for that kind
of specific
fact of new employees is crossing the line of their Add an article
a specific
privaicy
the thing that nothing to do about Correct your spelling
privacy
companies
benefits . In my opinion , presonal
Correct your spelling
personal
information
should be kept in
a secret and foucs more about employer certificate qualification togather experince years . Change preposition
apply
It's seems
to be there are many drawbacks Change the verb form
It seems
for
sharing Change preposition
to
unnessery
personal Correct your spelling
unnecessary
information
.
To begin
with, the main resone
for oversharing personal Correct your spelling
reason
information
cloud be dangrous
on Correct your spelling
dangerous
personal
and general level and many Add an article
a personal
companies
do not keep it confidentialy
,Correct your spelling
confidential
confidentially
consequently
could be very
Correct article usage
a very
embarresse
situation for the Correct your spelling
embarrassed
employee
for instance
, married status is very sensetive
status which many prefer not to tell Correct your spelling
sensitive
specialy
when Correct your spelling
specially
especially
employee
not married for various causes therefor it could be resone
to lose that smart worker because of the Correct your spelling
redone
reason
rumers
of not being married and so on. Correct your spelling
rumours
beside
that Replace the word
besides
kind
of religon
Correct your spelling
religion
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
belive
in Correct your spelling
believe
tend
to be the most complicated Correct subject-verb agreement
tends
qustion
it may lead to not being hired because some Correct your spelling
question
kind
of few
Correct quantifier usage
apply
racism
Replace the word
racist
companies
may going not to
hire excellent workers Fix the infinitive
apply
for
because of Change preposition
apply
thire
faith .
Correct your spelling
their
On the other
hand
another point to consider is that Add a comma
hand,
,
Remove the comma
apply
focal
point on important things like Correct article usage
the focal
interview
Wrong verb form
interviewing
emolyee
and Correct your spelling
employee
employees
ask
them about Wrong verb form
asking
thire
Correct your spelling
their
qualification
, previous jobs ,level of education , Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
experince
years and what they can do to improve Correct your spelling
experience
work
Correct article usage
the work
enviroment
so , that Correct your spelling
environment
kind
of information
can help the companies
find the good employee
to hire in addition
, company
become more successful by Add an article
the company
foucing
on quality of the Correct your spelling
focusing
workes
rather than Correct your spelling
workers
thier
Correct your spelling
their
the
back ground
.
Correct your spelling
background
To sum up
, some information
do
not come with any benefits Change the verb form
does
in
contrast, it can destroy the company with Add the comma(s)
, in
alot
ofCorrect your spelling
a lot
concequnces
, Correct your spelling
consequences
however
centre on employee
essential education and past years of work are more valuable .Submitted by may.al.zemami on
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grammar
Work on improving grammar and sentence structure to enhance clarity and readability.
example development
Ensure that each main point is fully developed with relevant examples.
conclusion improvement
Enhance your conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively and reiterating your stance clearly.
introduction
Introduction presents both views effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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