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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Students are becoming more and more reliant on the internet. While the internet is convenient, it has many negative effects and its use for educational purposes should be restricted. How far do you agree with this statement ?

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In today's modern world,
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 plays
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 role in human life
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is an undeniable fact. Should we realize the advantages of using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 correctly in
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children
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children's
show examples
 future progress, we ponder over
effects
Correct article usage
the effects
show examples
 of using
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 on
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 future much more scrupulously. but some parents think that using
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 by
students
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 can have
negative
Add an article
a negative
show examples
 influence on
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children
Change noun form
children's
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education
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 and they believe that they must limit using of
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 for their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
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. In their
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
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 their child can only
use
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Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 freely when reach
certain
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a certain
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 age of adulthood. effects of using
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
has
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have
show examples
 currently been the topic of
debating
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debate
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 among many researchers. but is it really harmful for pupils to
use
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Use synonyms
Add an article
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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? it is
controversial
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a controversial
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 issue and
for answering
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to answer
show examples
 it, we must refer to
researchers
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researchers'
researcher's
show examples
 findings about
this
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 issue. I do believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 controlled
using
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, will not only
has
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have
show examples
 not bad
impacts
Fix the agreement mistake
impact
show examples
 on
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education
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 but
also
Linking Words
 can be very handy for them, and these are my justifications.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 provides access to a wealth of
refrenced
Correct your spelling
referenced
reference
 sources and information,
as well as
Linking Words
, common information from around the globe.
For example
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 in my country there are several websites that
supported
Add a missing verb
are supported
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 by
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the ministry
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ministry
Capitalize word
Ministry
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 of
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education
Capitalize word
Education
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, so
students
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 can find more about their lessons and
can
Verb problem
apply
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access
to
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apply
show examples
online libraries. The second reason why advocate
this
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 point of view lies in the fact that
,
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apply
show examples
 it allows
peoples
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people
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 (i.e.
students
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 with different races and cultures, with different languages and with any
education
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 level) around
world
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the world
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 to
conect
Correct your spelling
connect
 and
exchanges
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exchange
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
ideas
with
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apply
show examples
together and
discusses
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discuss
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 about
sciencesubjects
Correct your spelling
scientific subjects
. so
students
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 and teachers can improve their experiences and their level of
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
.
On the contrary
Linking Words
 side,There is no doubt that
,
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apply
show examples
misuse
Correct article usage
the misuse
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 of
this
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 invention
through
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by
show examples
students
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, leads
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 them badly.
some times
Correct your spelling
Sometimes
show examples
, using new technologies
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 sweet for many of us
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 leads
addiction
Change preposition
to addiction
show examples
. I strongly can say,
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internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 is one of these technologies.
For
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
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 in
use
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social media are
indulge
Wrong verb form
indulged
show examples
. In conclusion, I have to say,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
 can be both helpful and hindering to people of all ages. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 we can not disregard
this
Linking Words
 invention because of some of its disadvantages.
Linking Words
instead
Add a comma
instead,
show examples
 parents can allow
students
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 to
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 in handy and controlled ways and profit from its positive aspects.

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Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, but the organization needs some improvement. Consider using clearer topic sentences and smoother transitions between paragraphs for better flow.
Task Achievement
While your essay addresses the task effectively, the clarity of ideas needs enhancement. More precise language and structured arguments will improve your score.
Introduction and Conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented, clearly framing your argument.
Relevant Specific Examples
You use relevant examples to support your points, which strengthens your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessibility
  • independent learning
  • critical thinking
  • excessive reliance
  • hinder
  • crucial
  • problem-solving
  • overly dependent
  • diversity
  • perspectives
  • global cultures
  • enriching
  • unrestricted
  • information overload
  • discerning
  • credible sources
  • incorporation
  • engagement
  • adaptivity
  • personalized learning
  • innovative
  • pedagogy
  • digital age
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