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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.

The graphs show figures relating to hours worked and stress levels amongst professionals in eight groups. Describe the information shown to a university or a college lecture.
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The provided bar chart indicates the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 worked weekly.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the supplied pie chart illustrates the percentage of concern which individuals suffer in some
jobs
Use synonyms
. A glance at the graph reveals that the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of working
hours
Use synonyms
 is for
business men
Correct your spelling
businessmen
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,
lecturers
Use synonyms
 do not work a lot compared to other
jobs
Use synonyms
 in a week.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the highest percentage of
stress
Use synonyms
 is for
lecturers
Use synonyms
. Whilst, writers do not suffer from the
stress
Use synonyms
 of
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 as much as others. The average
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 worked as a business
men
Correct the article-noun agreement
man
show examples
 is 70
hours
Use synonyms
, (which is the highest
number
Use synonyms
 of work
hours
Use synonyms
 between other
jobs
Use synonyms
) compared to the time of work for movie producers with 60
hours
Use synonyms
 weekly.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the amount of
stress
Use synonyms
 for
lecturers
Use synonyms
 is considerably more than
movie
Change preposition
for movie
show examples
 producers at 25% and 18%, respectively. (Which are the highest percentage of suffering from worrying compared
other
Change preposition
to other
show examples
jobs
Use synonyms
).
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of job
hours
Use synonyms
 for chefs is 30
hours
Use synonyms
, (which is the least
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 worked over the period) just ahead of
lecturers
Use synonyms
 with roughly 25
hours
Use synonyms
 per week.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, working as a writer is as stressful as working as a programmer with 8% and 5%, respectively. (Which are the lowest amount of
stress
Use synonyms
 which is related to job between other occupations).

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, hours, jobs, lecturers, stress with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average hours worked
  • stress levels
  • professional groups
  • correlation
  • highest/lowest
  • reported
  • variations
  • data
  • trends
  • patterns
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