IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition totheir main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#university #students #subjects #addition #totheir #time #attention #qualification
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These days some people are interested in studying some extra and additional
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
except
Change preposition
besides
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 their
man
Correct your spelling
male
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 subjects in the universities.
on the other hand
Linking Words
, from some experts and
students
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' point of view, if someone
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
 their total attention to one subject. he/she will be more successful in
Correct article usage
the desire
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desire
Wrong verb form
desired
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 subject. there are many reasons
exist
Verb problem
apply
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that people want to study 2 or more subjects.
as
Capitalize word
As
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 I see the most important reason is some
students
Use synonyms
 do not know which major and
field
Use synonyms
 is more appropriate for them and it is hard to choose between
two
Use synonyms
 subjects.
furthermore
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, they want to be
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 in
two
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 majors and
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, they can find
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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easier
Rephrase
more easily
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 than when they studied and got
degree
Add an article
a degree
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 in university.
for instance
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, some universities in my country have courses
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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named "
kahad
Change the capitalization
Kahad
show examples
" which allow
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
students
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 want to study
two
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
 in
parallel
Change the article
a parallel
show examples
 way.
on the other hand
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, some experts suggest that if you study
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
one major
instead
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 of
two
Use synonyms
 or more
Use synonyms
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
, you will be more successful than persons who do not
Linking Words
this
Add a missing verb
do this
show examples
 and you can find
job
Add an article
a job
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 in a
greater
Correct word choice
better
show examples
 way
also
Linking Words
, you have more time to focus on your courses and learn some skills that help you to be more expert in your
field
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.
for example
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, chemical
engineer
Replace the word
engineering
show examples
students
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 try to learn MATLAB and ANSYS, which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are the most crucial
application
Fix the agreement mistake
applications
show examples
 in their
field
Use synonyms
,
instead
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 of studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 second major.
to sum up
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,
although
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 there are many
differences
Replace the word
different
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idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
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 and
opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
show examples
exist
Verb problem
apply
show examples
in
this
Linking Words
field
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
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in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 if persons and
students
Use synonyms
 try to focus on
a
Correct determiner usage
one
show examples
 course
instead
Linking Words
 of
two
Use synonyms
, they will be more successful and experts in their
field
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mr.sadeghnezhadengineer on

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introduction conclusion
Your introduction briefly presents both perspectives, but it could be clearer and more engaging. Consider rewriting the first sentence for smoother reading and better grammar.
supported main points
You have covered the perspectives and given your opinion, which is good. However, your main points need more substantial support and development. Provide specific examples and elaborate on your ideas.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation. There are several small mistakes that can make your writing less clear. For example, capitalize the first letter of sentences and properly use commas and periods.
introduction conclusion
You have included an introduction and a conclusion, which gives your essay a clear structure.
complete response
You have successfully discussed both views and stated your own opinion, which shows a good grasp of the task requirements.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your essay addresses the topic and stays relevant throughout, which means you have a good understanding of the subject matter.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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