IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

#factor #child’s #development #media #pop #culture #friends #point #role

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In modern days, some people believe that media, pop culture and

friends

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are often regarded as major factors influencing

children

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development

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while

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others

would

Verb problem

apply

show examples

believe that the family plays a more significant role.

This

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paper aims to discuss which side of the contrasting views plays a bigger role in a

child

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development

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as well as

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giving

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give

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some personal opinions. Most

children

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would

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apply

show examples

spend the majority of their personal

time

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at home, where they will inevitably interact with their family members including parents and siblings.

According to

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a team of researchers at the University of London interviewing 300 adults regarding their youth, more than two-thirds of the respondents reported that their personalities were predominantly shaped by their family members as they taught and spent

time

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with them,

this

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demonstrates the vital influence that a

child

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's family may have on their future

development

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While

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the importance of families has been demonstrated above, a survey conducted by the Seoul National University shows a different picture. With over 10000 year 7 students reporting that they spent 10 hours outside their homes to attend school, tutoring and extra-curricular activities,

it is clear that

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children

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nowadays are spending more

time

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with their peers than their family members. As

friends

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often share values,

interests

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and interests

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and are driven by

pop-culture

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pop culture

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, I am convinced that

such

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factors are inevitably influencing

children

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development

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Furthermore

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, as digital technology has become more advanced, more and more

children

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relied

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rely

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on their gadgets and smartphones, with authorities from countries like China and the United Kingdom

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

considering limiting the

time

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child

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can use their mobile

device

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devices

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. I believe that a reason for

such

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restriction to be imposed was the overwhelming amount of information being exposed to a

child

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who are addicted to digital devices, and often

this

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information is believed to be harmful to

children

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development

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and is difficult to

be censored

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censor

show examples

. Despite the trend above, adults play a critical part in controlling what factors can influence

children

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development

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While

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parents could spend more

time

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and care in their

children

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life

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lives

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on the other hand

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, teachers should monitor

children

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's interaction with their

friends

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and provide support to nourish

children

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's positive

development

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. All in all, the prevalence of digital technology

as well as

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the increase in

time

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spent beyond their home, media, pop culture and

friends

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are aspects influential in

children

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development

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while

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some of these influences can be negative. With more care and monitoring, I suggest parents and teachers must put an effort to sustain positive

development

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children

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they are responsible for

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apply

show examples

so that they can shine in the future.

Submitted by 788seal on Mon Sep 16 2024

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evidence support

It would be beneficial to provide more specific examples and data to support your arguments, especially in the paragraphs discussing the impact of media and pop culture.

idea development

Ensure that all ideas are clearly and fully developed, particularly in relation to the counterarguments. This will help in displaying a balanced discussion.

introduction

Your introduction clearly states the topic and outlines the main points that will be discussed.

organization

The essay has a clear and logical structure, with distinct paragraphs dedicated to different points of view.

language usage

Overall, the language used is clear and appropriate for academic writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

428 words

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IT IS COMMONLY BELIEVE THAT NOWADAYS MAIN FACTOR THAT AFFECT A CHILD’S DEVELOPMENT ARE MEDIA,POP CULTURE AND FRIENDS.A DIFFERENT POINT OF VIEW IS THAT FAMILY PLAYS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT ROLE.DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OPINION

Fully explain your ideas

Some argue that there is no point in spending money on wildlife protection because we humans have no need for them. I totally disagree with this view.

In the modern era, it is easy to sell, buy and work with others through the internet. But others are against it. Do you think this is a positive trend or a negative trend?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, advertisement targeting children is on the rise. Some people think that it has a negative impact and should be banned. Do you agree or disagree?

Smoking is a habit that claims many lives and is a great drain on health services. One way to combat smoking would be to make it illegal. What are the pros and cons of such a government policy? What alternative strategies can you suggest to combat smoking?