Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

In the contemporary world, it is true to say that health care
services
are an essential fundamental.
Nevertheless
, there is a conflict that the price has been made by private
corporation
Fix the agreement mistake
corporations
show examples
quite expensive for ordinary people. It seems to me that there are more benefits than drawbacks.
This
essay will discuss both pros and cons
from
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of
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the situation mentioned above in the following paragraphs. One of the negative aspects is the
high-priced
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high price
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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private healthcare. It is often claimed that many companies might have overcharged their parents with a huge amount of money, which the costs could totally damage
to
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apply
show examples
individuals. When people are likely to access
to
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apply
show examples
the
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apply
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private healthcare, meeting with a small injury or ordinary yearly check-up for their well-being, they might face a considerable amount of fees.
This
may lead to the fact that private hospitals will ask
in
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for
show examples
expensive
payment
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payments
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.  One of the primary advantages of
this
is excellent
services
.
This
can be explained by the fact that the firms would provide the hospitable
treatments
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treatment
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to their customers. If the patient
visit
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visits
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the private health centres, stuffs are likely to greet the guest with
smiling
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a smiling
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and warm welcome.
Moreover
, the
patient
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patients
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hardly wait long to receive the
services
or see the doctors as they often do in public healthcare, where they may have to stand by for an hour or more.
Consequently
, the superior
services
should have
been
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apply
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received
the
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a
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large amount of payment. Another point worth considering is the new technology of equipment. It is evident that
the
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apply
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private hospitals usually provide the efficient international tools for treatment imported, for their patient might be
cure
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cured
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in advance.
For example
,
the
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apply
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complex surgical cases may require high-quality tools in order to create minimal incisions during procedures.
Therefore
, the recently developed tools lead to benefits for ordinary people. To put it simply, as
aforementioned
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apply
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above,
while
it is true to say that the price made by private
corporation
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corporations
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quite
Add a missing verb
is quite
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costly, in fact, I personally view
this
cost
will
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as will
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exchange
with
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for
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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great treatments,
also
the recently developed equipment.
Submitted by jubjangjuda on

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task achievement
Ensure every point made is directly relevant to the topic and is expanded with specific examples. For instance, when discussing the high costs, mention exact implications or statistics instead of vague terms like 'huge amount of money'.
task achievement
Proofread for grammatical accuracy and clarity. For example, 'meeting with a small injury' could be more clearly stated as 'seeking treatment for a minor injury'.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the flow between the pros and cons sections by using transition words or phrases to clearly indicate the shift. This will improve readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the linkage between sentences and paragraphs to maintain a seamless flow of ideas. For example, use words like 'Furthermore' or 'Moreover' strategically to connect ideas in a paragraph.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear outline of the discussion points, setting the reader's expectations effectively.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion nicely summarizes the essay, reaffirming the advantages outweighing the disadvantages.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cutting-edge technology
  • highly skilled professionals
  • patient experience
  • outcomes
  • personalized care
  • healthcare practitioners
  • competition
  • standards
  • government burden
  • public funds
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disparities
  • profitability
  • over-treatment
  • neglect
  • non-profitable cases
  • ethical concerns
  • financial status
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