The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia fro the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia fro the period 2000 to 2020.
The data on the variety of participants for five different activities
such
as film club, martial arts,
amateur
dramatics
,
table
tennis
and musical performances at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia in a period range between 2000 and 2020 by the line graph.
Overall
, what stands out from the line chart is that the number of visitors to the film club was the highest over
this
twenty-year period. In detail, in 2000 martial arts were the second highest with nearly 35
people
,
then
the third was the
amateur
dramatics
with approximately 25
people
.
Furthermore
, the
last
two activities with the number of participants were
table
tennis
and musical performances with roughly 15 and 0
people
, respectively.
Then
, in 2010 the variety of
peoplewho
Correct your spelling
people who
visited
amateur
dramatics
and
table
tennis
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
the same with about 20
people
. Regarding the changes in 2020, the statistics showed that the results were not similar. The second highest number of
people
was
table
tennis
with about 55
people
and after that martial arts were the third highest and remained with nearly 40
people
.
Finally
, musical performances and
amateur
dramatics
were the
last
on
this
list with roughly 20 and 8 visitors, respectively.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words amateur, dramatics, table, tennis, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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