Culture and education both play an important role with many countries, some say that preservation of culture has its features while others think that instead of culture people should focus on education in the country. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give examples and reasons to support your claims.
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Culture
and eduction
both play Correct your spelling
education
an
significant role Change the article
a
with
many communities. Change preposition
in
Recentally
, some people Correct your spelling
Recently
pay
big Wrong verb form
have paid
attentions
Fix the agreement mistake
attention
of
Change preposition
to
culture
Replace the word
cultural
presevation
Correct your spelling
preservation
while
the
others Correct article usage
apply
thinks
to keep Verb problem
want
emphasis
on Add an article
the emphasis
an emphasis
education
level
. This
essay with discuss both point
of Change to a plural noun
points
views
Fix the agreement mistake
view
evidante
Correct your spelling
evidenced
with
facts.
On Change preposition
by
one
hand, Correct article usage
the one
countries
Replace the word
a country's
culture
is a part of humuns
identity and history. In order, to save our Correct your spelling
human
humans
parents
Change to a genitive case
parent's
parents'
jourary preservaing
cultures and history to maintain the Correct your spelling
journey preserving
historogical
sectors of our identity. Correct your spelling
historical
histological
For example
, egyption
people are famous and Correct your spelling
Egyptian
knows
by their Wrong verb form
known
pyrimads
. people Correct your spelling
pyramids
comes
all over the world to see it. Change the verb form
come
As a result
of pyrimads
preservation and Correct your spelling
pyramids
maintanace
it Correct your spelling
maintenance
play
significant roles Correct subject-verb agreement
plays
with
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the country
country
economic Change noun form
country's
level
. Apparently, many cultures are lost nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
due to
the unawareness of society this
can impact the respect levels of others
countries.
Correct quantifier usage
other
Furthermore
, The emphasis on education
Add an article
the education
level
of country
Add an article
the country
it
considerable to be one of the important Correct your spelling
is
aspect
of the Change to a plural noun
aspects
country
Change noun form
country's
devolepment
. The world innovation Correct your spelling
development
come
from the community Change the verb form
comes
education
levels and awareness. Moreover
, Correct article usage
the minestry
minestry
of Correct your spelling
Ministry
education
in Japan Capitalize word
Education
pay
a huge money and do Correct subject-verb agreement
pays
the
best effort in order to increase the Change the word
its
education
level
of the nwe
generation.
Correct your spelling
new
To conclude
, The
both sectors Correct article usage
apply
culture
and education
play a
Correct article usage
apply
significat
roles Correct your spelling
significant
Change preposition
in communities
communities
Fix the agreement mistake
community
develomentance
. Correct your spelling
development
For
this
reason
we have to keep focus Add a comma
reason,
how
to save cultures and try to conduct the Change preposition
on how
education
to maintain the socioal economic
Correct your spelling
socio-economic
level
of our country
.Submitted by rahafalkhashti7 on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt, but it has several grammatical errors and language inaccuracies that affect the clarity of your writing. Revising your grammar will greatly improve your overall score.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and develops it fully. The transition between points can be made smoother for better coherence.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your claims. This will make your argument more compelling and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion should summarize the main points more clearly and reinforce your opinion. Restating your opinion in a concise manner will make your conclusion more effective.
task achievement
The essay attempts to address both viewpoints on the topic, showing an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
task achievement
The inclusion of examples, such as the reference to Egyptian pyramids and Japan’s ministry of education, adds some depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.