With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?
Currently, there is an increasing number of
adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
are
able to meet and chat with Correct pronoun usage
who are
friends
online in an unsupervised way. However
, this
could lead to potentially dangerous problems. Parents
monitor and well developed
Internet chatting environment could deal with Correct your spelling
well-developed
this
problem
.42
It is clear that
chatting online is a way for teenagers
to make friends
, especially for not
outgoing Rephrase
apply
person
. Fix the agreement mistake
people
However
, most of
youngsters do not have critical thinking and awareness of privacy and security. Internet Change preposition
apply
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
condition
for people to hide their real personal information, so that scammers Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
could
find Wrong verb form
can
out
Change preposition
apply
teenagers
and make up their profiles to pretend to be peers with teenagers
online, and teenagers
could easily be cheated by scammers. In addition
, because of the virtual environment, teenagers
would idealize the
online Correct article usage
apply
relationship
and they would invest a lot of time to deal with online social and online friendships. Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
teenagers
would idealize would
obsessed with communicating online and often refuse to communicate with Verb problem
being
friends
and family in reality
life. 164
Family plays a significant role in dealing with Replace the word
real
the
online Correct article usage
apply
relationship
problems. Parents
could set screen usage timer
for their Fix the agreement mistake
timers
child
to ensure that teens would not spend too much time online. Fix the agreement mistake
children
Also
, parents
should set an example for them, beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
teenagers
would imitate from parents
. Besides
, parents
could have a deep conversation with their child each day and observe their mood. If teenagers
are suffering from mental problem
, Fix the agreement mistake
problems
parents
could help to solve them on time.Moreover
, parental support is not enough, establishing a variety of social support system
is another way to deal with the Fix the agreement mistake
systems
problem
. It is crucial to strengthen the monitor
of the Internet chatting system by banning Replace the word
monitoring
the
negative words and other methods. Correct article usage
apply
Besides
, schools
support is important too. Teachers could organise more campus activities to build up Fix the agreement mistake
school
students
Fix the agreement mistake
student
relationship
.299
In conclusion, teenagers
make friends
online because they could not
get a healthy Wrong verb form
cannot
relationship
from the
reality life. To deal with Correct article usage
apply
this
problem
, not only monitor could solve the problem
, but also
enough care and conversation from parents
and society are both important.Submitted by janejaspar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
grammar
Ensure subject-verb agreement in sentences such as 'there is an increasing number of adolescent are'. It should be 'there is an increasing number of adolescents'.
clarity
Enhance clarity in some parts where ideas seem rushed. For instance, the phrase '...they would invest a lot of time to deal with online social and online friendships. teenagers would idealize would obsessed with communicating online...' could be rephrased for better coherence.
examples
Consider integrating more specific examples to illustrate points comprehensively. For instance, highlighting a specific parental control app or a particular school program aimed at fostering real-life interactions can enhance the essay's relevance and relatability.
task completion
You have clearly identified the problem and suggested multiple solutions, which covers the task effectively.
structure
The introduction and conclusion are present, summarizing the main points of the essay effectively.
content
Your points about parental supervision and social support systems are well-made and provide a good foundation for the argument.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?