A few people debate that technological inventions like cell phones are making people socially less interactive. To what extend do you agree with this statement

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There is no doubt that these days technology plays a vital
rola
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role
in our life and it is making our life so easy. Some
people
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argue that new inventions like cell phones are making
people
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less communicate with each other. I strongly agree with
this
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statement. On the one hand, there are many reasons why
people
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believe that technology like cell phones makes
people
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less corroboration with other
people
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firstly
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cell phones make
people
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kill interaction with other
people
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becaues
Correct your spelling
because
they say it is easy to send a message without going with
people
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,
for example
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, some of the folks they are not going a celebration of relatives
such
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as birthday or wedding which is considered as bad
behavior
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behaviour
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.
Furthermore
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, it damages the characters of
people
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in other words
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because
people
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they are not communicate with each other so when they fall into a problem they will not find anyone to help them.
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay would benefit from a clear and concise introduction and conclusion to frame your argument effectively. Aim to introduce the topic and your position in the introduction and summarize your points and restate your stance in the conclusion.
logical structure
Work on providing logical structure. While you've raised relevant points, they could be organized better for stronger flow. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and provide evidence or examples to support it.
relevant specific examples
To make your arguments more persuasive, include more specific examples or evidence. For instance, you could discuss a personal experience or a study that supports the claim.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have successfully conveyed a clear position in your essay which is important for task achievement.
supported main points
Your essay contains relevant points that support your argument, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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