IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
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The charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
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 the portion of both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
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 in one Asian country who passed their driving
test
Use synonyms
 between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
, both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
 witnessed different
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 during
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
.
Women
Use synonyms
 experienced fluctuations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 passing the
test
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 consistently increased before
witnessed
Wrong verb form
witnessing
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 stagnation. During
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
,
women
Use synonyms
 who have received their driving
lisence
Correct your spelling
licence
license
 are experienced
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
 trends. There are
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
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 more
women
Use synonyms
 who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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passed the
test
Use synonyms
during
Change preposition
from
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 1980 until 2000.
Women
Use synonyms
 reached
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 peak of quantity for around 79%
at
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in
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 year of
twenty-one
Replace the word
the 21st
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 century.
However
Linking Words
, there are
slightly decreased
Replace the word
slight decrease
show examples
 in them
subsuquently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
. On the other side, steady and stagnation trends are witnessed in
men
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.
Men
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 experienced
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 trend as
women
Use synonyms
 for two decades but the differences are in the first decade. The addition of first decades
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 even
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher despite their start points
are
Wrong verb form
being
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 lower.
However
Linking Words
men
Use synonyms
 stagnant on quantity of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 who passed the
test
Use synonyms
 in the next decades by around 49%.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women, men with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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