The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

#percentage #women #men #asian #country #test

The charts

illustrates

Change the verb form

illustrate

show examples

the portion of both

gender

Fix the agreement mistake

genders

show examples

in one Asian country who passed their driving

test

between 1980 and 2010.

Overall

, both

gender

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genders

show examples

witnessed different

development

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developments

show examples

during

these year

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this year

these years

show examples

Women

experienced fluctuations

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show examples

passing the

test

whereas

men

consistently increased before

witnessed

Wrong verb form

witnessing

show examples

stagnation. During

these year

Change the determiner

this year

these years

show examples

women

who have received their driving

lisence

Correct your spelling

licence

license

are experienced

fluctuate

Wrong verb form

fluctuating

show examples

trends. There are

much

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many

show examples

women

who

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

passed the

test

during

Change preposition

from

show examples

1980 until 2000.

Women

reached

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its

show examples

peak of quantity for around 79%

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show examples

first

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the first

show examples

year of

twenty-one

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the 21st

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century.

However

, there are

slightly decreased

Replace the word

slight decrease

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in them

subsuquently

Correct your spelling

subsequently

. On the other side, steady and stagnation trends are witnessed in

men

Men

experienced

same

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the same

show examples

trend as

women

for two decades but the differences are in the first decade. The addition of first decades

are

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show examples

even

Change the word

apply

show examples

higher despite their start points

are

Wrong verb form

being

show examples

lower.

However

men

stagnant on quantity of

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

who passed the

test

in the next decades by around 49%.

Submitted by auzarinawukirasih19 on Tue Sep 17 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women, men with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

▼

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
24Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

157 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Although the prices of fuels have greatly increased over the last decade or two, it is argued that further increases in fuel prices are the only way to reduce world consumption of fuel and lessen pressure on the world's fuel resouces. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statatment?