The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010.
The charts
illustrates
Change the verb form
illustrate
show examples
the portion of both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
in one Asian country who passed their driving
test
between 1980 and 2010.
Overall
, both
gender
Fix the agreement mistake
genders
show examples
witnessed different
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
during
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
.
Women
experienced fluctuations
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
passing the
test
,
whereas
men
consistently increased before
witnessed
Wrong verb form
witnessing
show examples
stagnation. During
these year
Change the determiner
this year
these years
show examples
,
women
who have received their driving
lisence
Correct your spelling
licence
license
are experienced
fluctuate
Wrong verb form
fluctuating
show examples
trends. There are
much
Fix the agreement mistake
many
show examples
more
women
who
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
passed the
test
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
1980 until 2000.
Women
reached
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
peak of quantity for around 79%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
year of
twenty-one
Replace the word
the 21st
show examples
century.
However
, there are
slightly decreased
Replace the word
slight decrease
show examples
in them
subsuquently
Correct your spelling
subsequently
. On the other side, steady and stagnation trends are witnessed in
men
.
Men
experienced
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
trend as
women
for two decades but the differences are in the first decade. The addition of first decades
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
even
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
higher despite their start points
are
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
lower.
However
men
stagnant on quantity of
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
who passed the
test
in the next decades by around 49%.
Submitted by auzarinawukirasih19 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Replace the words test, women, men with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuations" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: