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Writing Samples /
Band 5

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The line graphs below show the subscriptions to mobile and fixed phone lines in four different countries between 2005 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#line #graphs #show #subscriptions #phone #lines #four #countries #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graphs delineate the subscription of
telecommnicational
Correct your spelling
telecommunication
 gadgets; mobile and fixed phones in 4 different countries within
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
decade
 of 2005 to 2015.
Overall
, a significant note that emerges from
this
 is that the
people
 of the United Kingdom have a greater number of
subscription
Fix the agreement mistake
subscriptions
show examples
 as compared to the other three countries. Right off the bat, it can be witnessed that the
people
 of Eritrea's utilisation of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 is levelled off at less than one-tenth of its population within a
decade
. Other than that, the
people
 of India
also
 witnessed a constant subscription
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 2005 to 2009 and its population of users took off in the year 2009, reaching a high of 80
people
 per hundred.
Next,
the
people
 of Uruguay
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 seen to experience a substantial increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 mobile gadget usage from 50 to 150 per hundred
people
 within 10 years.
Finally
, the
people
 of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom witnessed a constant number of subscribers at more than
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
100% usage within a
decade
.
On the other hand
, for fixed telephone, it can be witnessed that the
people
 of Eritrea and India levelled off at less than 10 per hundred
peaple
Correct your spelling
people
subscrbing
Correct your spelling
subscribing
 to
this
 technology from 2005 to 2015.
Next,
it is witnessed that fixed telephone users
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 India are at a constant of around 30 per hundred,
then
 increases slightly starting from the year 2011 to 2015.
Finally
, the
people
 of
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
 Kingdom witnessed an incorporeal decrease of 60 per hundred to just over 50 per hundred within a
decade
.
Submitted by lishaanatalie on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally, next, ".
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words decade, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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