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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Task1: The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports to four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Task1: The line graph shows the percentages of Australian exports to four countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #percentages #australian #exports #four #countries #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the proportions of Australian
export
Fix the agreement mistake
exports
show examples
 to 4 different countries between 1990 and 2012.
Overall
,
although
China
 and
India
 had
forward
Add an article
a forward
show examples
 trend in 22
years
old
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
period,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
Japan
 declined in these
years
. In 5
years
 following 1995,
while
Japan
 with
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 26%
share
 and
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 with around 12%
share
decline
Wrong verb form
declined
show examples
 rapidly to 20% and around 8% respectively,
China
 rose smoothly from near zero to 3%
share
 and
India
 remained steadily at around 2%. In the following next 5
years
,
however
 US started to
rose
Verb problem
increase
show examples
 its proportion other countries had the same previous period pattern. In 2005,
while
China
 rose significantly in the next 5
years
, from just over 10% to 25%,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 fell its percentage like its pattern in the
5-yearold
Correct your spelling
5-year old
 past period.
India
 rose its
share
 gradually
5
Change preposition
from 5
show examples
% to around 7% and
Japan
 approximately unchanged. Between 2010 and 2012,
while
India
 declined slightly,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and
China
 increased their
share
 gradually.
Japan
 had the same pattern which it had before.
Submitted by ramenosko on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words china, india, years, japan, share with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportions" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.
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