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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The graph mentioned compares data related to numbers of the national and international
students
Use synonyms
 in Australian universities in a ten-year
period
Use synonyms
 of time . Generally,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 total number of
students
Use synonyms
 who started their undergraduate studies and those who completed them showed an increase over ten years .
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,the figure for the local
students
Use synonyms
 who finished their degree displayed a steady growth from 40,000 in 2001 up to 60,000 in 2007 ,
then
Linking Words
 the figure remained roughly stable until the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 . Regarding those who had started but did not complete ; the statistics figure was almost 20,000 in 2001 ,
then
Linking Words
 it fluctuated throughout the years but a moderate rise was seen by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 .
Secondly
Linking Words
 , the figures for the pupils who started and completed their university were close to each other in the year 2001 . Both illustrated significant growth by the year 2009 . number of overseas
students
Use synonyms
 who finished their degree rose by 60,000 in 8 years ,
while
Linking Words
 for those who did not complete it, it rose by only 20,000 .
Overall
Linking Words
 , figures showed a steep ascend in degree holders nationally and internationally by the end of the
period
Use synonyms
 mentioned .

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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, period with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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