"The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?"
There is no doubt that
science
is very important in our life
which makes our world better. The desired goal from
Change preposition
of
science
is to enhance residents’ lives. To demonstrate,
in this
essay
the importance of Add a comma
essay,
science
and knowledge will be explained as i
agree with Change the capitalization
I
this
.
Firstly
, science
must take the highest priority from people and government as well. To illustrate this
point, more money should be invested in education and facilities where people
can learn more about science
. For instance
, in Singapore, the government put high
budget Add an article
a high
the high
in
the education system in 2010 and they get paid now. To make Change preposition
on
this
point clear, they have
one of the strongest economical
systems in the world and the minimum wage for each person is the highest in the world. Replace the word
economic
Thus
, knowledge is very
crucial thing to get.
Add an article
a very
the very
Secondly
, let’s deep dive into the past and look to
our Change preposition
at
life
in 1990, there weren’t any smart phones
or computers which Correct your spelling
smartphones
make
our Wrong verb form
made
life
difficult Fix the agreement mistake
lives
comparing
to now. To demonstrate, all our transactions are done online by mobile phone. Wrong verb form
compared
Furthermore
, many devices are made using advanced technology like high-speed processors and all of this
is because of the existence of science
. Moreover
, people must have the awareness to be disciplined toward science
.
In conclusion, to be
aware of Change the verb form
being
science
is highly recommended in
Change preposition
at
this
time. So, the government must work to make this
happen, which is very
important thing to do in Add an article
a very
the very
this
life
. I hope I made everything clear in this
essay.Submitted by seifhasseb222 on
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coherence
The essay addresses the task, but the clarity could be enhanced by refining the articulation of ideas and arguments. Ensure each paragraph clearly follows from the previous one, maintaining a stronger logical flow.
language
Work on reducing minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases to improve the linguistic polish of the essay. Consider seeking feedback or using tools to catch these issues before final submission.
content development
Expand on your points with more specific examples and detailed explanations to elevate the depth of your arguments. Providing a wider variety of examples can make your points more convincing.
structure
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow.
examples
The examples provided, especially involving Singapore’s education investment and the evolution of technology, are relevant and help to illustrate the points being made.
content understanding
The writer shows awareness of the importance of science and its role in societal progress, which reflects a strong understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.