Many people assume that the goal of every country should be to produce more material and goods. To what extent do you agree or disagree that constantly increasing production is an appropriate goal.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In 2020, I bought a condominium that was still under construction and it was predicted
tobe
Correct your spelling
to be
show examples
completed in 2023.
However
, owing to the pandemic of Covid-19, the completion date has been delayed. On April 30, 2024, I completed the vacant possession appointment for house key collection. Me and my husband have spent lots of time and funds on the house renovation and furniture.
At the end
of June, We started to move into our first owned house. I would like to state that for me to pursue
this
qualification by taking a course in Australia would create various job opportunities and better salaries. I wish that with
this
benefit, I can contribute more to my family and my home country, Malaysia.
Submitted by tifjong on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay effectively narrates your personal experience but it does not directly address the topic provided. Ensure that your essays strictly adhere to the given prompt to demonstrate full task achievement.
introduction conclusion
Introduce and conclude your essay with clear, summarizing statements that align with the main argument or narrative of the body paragraphs to improve coherence.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and logical structure, make clear transitions between your paragraphs and ensure each paragraph develops a single main idea. Currently, your essay shifts abruptly from personal experience to career aspirations without sufficient explanation or connection.
relevant specific examples
The details about your personal experience, such as the purchase of the condominium and the delays due to the pandemic, are vividly described and provide a relatable context.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: