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Writing Samples
Band 6

The diagrams below show the development of the village of Kelsbey between 1780 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the development of the village of Kelsbey between 1780 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The maps illustrate the transformation of Kelsbey village in three particular years, 1780, 1860, and 2000.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is evident that there was a major transformation of public facilities and housing areas,
whereas
Linking Words
 natural
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 significantly vanished in over 100 centuries. In 1780, the Kelsbey village had a long
river
Use synonyms
 which was running from north to south
side
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. There were four areas of farm beside the
river
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, and a large
area
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 of
woods
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 was spotted on the east
side
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 of the farms.
In
Change preposition
This
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this
Linking Words
 year, there were only 100 homes,
locating
Wrong verb form
located
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to
Change preposition
on
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 the north
side
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 of the
woods
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. By 1860, a bridge had been built to
crossing
Wrong verb form
cross
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 the
river
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, with an additional road to the
residents
Change to a genitive case
resident's
residents'
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area
Use synonyms
.
While
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 the housing increased to 200 homes, the farms and
woods
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area
Use synonyms
 showed a remarkable decreasing quantity in
this
Linking Words
 year. Moving to the new century, 2000,
this
Linking Words
 village exhibited wetlands for birds to the south
side
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 of the
river
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 and some shops were located adjacent to the
river
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. As the housing
area
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were
Change the verb form
was
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 developed
to
Change preposition
into
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 500 buildings, schools and sports
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
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 were
also
Linking Words
 built on the southern
side
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 of the resident
area
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. Those areas were connected by a new road between them. The farms and
woods
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area
Use synonyms
 were totally gone in
this
Linking Words
 year.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words river, side, area, woods with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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