IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

You want to sell your television. You think a friend of yours might like to buy it from you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: · explain why you are selling the television · describe the television · suggest a date when your friend can come and see it

#television #friend #date
Dear Bob,
This
 letter is to inform you about my plan to sell my TV by the end of
this
 month. I'm
shifting
Verb problem
moving
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 to Canada by the end of October.
As a result
, I won't be able to take the TV with me because of customs enquiry at the airport, they'll probably seize it, and
also
 the transportation cost from India to Canada is quite high. So, I'm looking forward to
sell
Change the verb form
selling
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 it and
make
Wrong verb form
making
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 some money out of it. It's a Samsung 43-inch TV with 4K resolution, AU9490 being the model number. I bought
this
 in June 2024, and it's in great condition. The remote is completely clean and functional, and
also
 with two
brand new
Add a hyphen
brand-new
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 AAA batteries.
Although
 it is completely
bezel less
Add a hyphen
bezel-less
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, it comes with both wall-mount and table accessories. The original price was INR 90,000, but my asking price is INR 45,000.
However
, you can own
this
 for INR 20,000. I'd suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply
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come by
this
 Saturday,
post lunch-time
Add a hyphen
post-lunch-time
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, between 3:30- 5 PM. I'm normally done with my daily house chores by
then
, so I'll be able to explain
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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the specifications much better. Please let me know if you'd be interested in
this
. Looking forward to hearing back from you. Best wishes, Nilesh
Submitted by majumdarnilesh21 on

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task achievement
Ensure the letter provides all relevant details and doesn't rely on the reader's prior knowledge.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors for a higher score in language accuracy.
task achievement
The letter clearly explains the reason for selling the television.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly and appropriate for the context.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is logical and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
The opening and closing of the letter are well constructed.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, improving readability.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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