Solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of an international organization rather than each national government. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that solving environmental problems should be the responsibility of an international organization,
while
others think that each national government must solve their problems themselves. I agree that the international organization's solutions are the best in the
world
because of the higher possibility of
conflicts
and the
fewer
Fix the agreement mistake
less trade
show examples
trades
between
countries
.A commonly held belief is that worldwide organizations should solve most of the challenges in the
world
, and one reason for
this
is
many
Correct article usage
the many
show examples
conflicts
between
countries
in our
world
.
According to
scientists, there are
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
billions of useful minerals in our galaxy, and there are many
countries
that want these minerals for themselves.
Furthermore
, there will be some little
conflicts
between each other for these materials, and
then
these little
conflicts
will lead to the biggest wars.
For instance
, the reason for the war called Orbulaq was that the nation called Jongar wanted to conquer the location of the country called Qazaq. Because in
this
place there was a wonderful and comfortable nature for all creatures and people.
Then
, the second reason for that statement
is
Change the verb form
is traded
is trading
show examples
trades
.
According to
politics, 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
of
trades
were stopped by betrayal.
However
, I admit that if international organizations decide
trade
Fix the infinitive
to trade
show examples
between
countries
, everything will be
alright
Replace the word
all right
show examples
and
honestly
Change the word
honest
show examples
. One clear example is a commercial between a father of mine and his friend. My father wanted to buy a TV, and
then
his friend told him that he could buy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
from him the newest TV for the cheapest cost. Meanwhile, we did not know that his friend was lying to us. After that, my dad gave his money to him because he believed in him.
Finally
, and sadly, he betrayed us and told us that he would not give
that
Correct pronoun usage
us that
show examples
television. In conclusion, I totally agree with the statement that says that global
commitees
Correct your spelling
committees
must solve all problems of the
world
, and the reasons for that are fights and battles between
countries
and betrayal
trades
.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion and states your position clearly. However, some of your ideas are not fully developed and need more specific examples or explanations to clarify your points.
task achievement
Try to expand on your examples and ensure they are relevant and specific to the point you're making. For instance, the example involving your father and his friend is a bit too personal and could be replaced with a more general or widely known scenario.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally logically structured, but there are areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by relevant details.
coherence cohesion
Use clear transition words and phrases to link your ideas smoothly and help the reader follow your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Your introduction is clear and provides a solid foundation for your essay.
introduction conclusion present
You have included a conclusion that effectively summarizes your main points and restates your position.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • nation's jurisdiction
  • international collaboration
  • global response
  • coordinated effort
  • enforcing environmental laws
  • sharing best practices
  • innovations and technologies
  • critical resources and knowledge
  • international agreements
  • equitable distribution
  • accountability
  • oversight
  • local context
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