IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

nation apply tax for high population do you agree OR disagree

#nation #tax #population
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There is no denying that some authorities in many countries force parents to have two children or one child and to keep
this
 in control
g
Correct your spelling
the
overnment
Correct your spelling
government
 applies excise to stick to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 specific number of
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 . I totally agree with
this
 idea and I am going to illustrate the causes to support my opinion. On the one hand , controlling
population
 numbers can bring many benefits like
saveing
Correct your spelling
saving
 source of nation's income from being drained by many consumers and
also
 offering good education for inhabitants
besides
 that people will get maximum care from
heathcare
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healthcare
services
 that
government
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the government
show examples
 bring ,
however
Add the comma(s)
however,
show examples
 a very fast growing
population
 is going to make the huge load on nations
services
 which going to lead to collapse for these kinds of
services
 .
For instance
 , China years ago made
rule
Add an article
a rule
the rule
show examples
 that each family
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
 more than one baby
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
going to cut off
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
goverment suppies
Correct your spelling
government supplies
 and advantages plus pay extra tax as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
 of
this
 action
population
 figure went down and elevate quality
Change preposition
of nation
show examples
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
servises
Correct your spelling
services
.
On the other hand
, ignoring
this
 kind of issue can impact on
enviroment's
Correct your spelling
environment's
 community negatively,
for example
 , air ,land, sound and water pollution as
consequnce
Correct your spelling
consequence
consequences
 of uncontrol of the
incline
Change the verb form
inclining
show examples
 number of people
moreover
 some counties in Africa with high
population
 indicate air pollution because of land
transportion
Correct your spelling
transportation
 which effect on civilian health cause them lung diseases and various of illness. In conclusion , many advantages come with reducing
Correct article usage
the nation
show examples
nation
Change noun form
nation's
show examples
population
 by applying taxes to improve quality
services
 and make the
enviroment
Correct your spelling
environment
 healthier than before .
Submitted by may.al.zemami on

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task achievement
You have a clear thesis and your arguments support your opinion well. However, ensure that your main points are always fully developed and clearly linked to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by making smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help readers follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with spelling and grammatical errors. Proofreading can help catch these mistakes.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction clearly states your opinion and previews the main points of your essay. Well done!
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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